Traveling on The Freeway of Love

So I just woke up and decided to slam out a magical newsletter
of destiny for you, BEFORE I EVEN GET OUT OF BED.

I’m doing this a lot lately. I seem to think more clearly first
thing in the morning.

The thing is, it is a race against time.

This morning, the street cleaner is coming by. If I don’t
move my car by noon, then I will get a forty dollar ticket. So
let’s see if I can complete this issue and move it before then.

Parking in San Francisco is quite a nightmare. The cops can’t
be bothered to do much about the rising murder rate, but
for some reason, the INSTANT you commit a parking infraction,
the meter maids are THERE, man. BOOM. They’re demonic.

Parking can also be a nightmare for your game. What the heck
am I talking about? I’m not really sure, but I’m working out
a metaphor here.

Along the road to success, you will find many tempting parking
spaces.

That is, as you progress in your game, frequently you will
be tempted to rest on your laurels after some small victory,
and get sidetracked from the larger goal.

This is why it’s important to define exactly what it is you
hope to accomplish by learning this skill set, in no
uncertain terms, right up front.

Once you’ve done that, it’s time to COMMIT to achieving that
goal, no matter what the cost.

Of course, you want to proceed in an intelligent manner,
constantly evaluating your progress, and possibly even
re-defining your goals in light of something that you’ve
learned along the way.

Just don’t succumb to the temptation to park in those spots
along the way… go all the way to the destination, and aim
for that ROCKSTAR PARKING… right out front baby.

Anyways, it’s now 12:01… I’m gonna move the car… I’ll
be right back…

…

…okay AND WE’RE BACK!

Sweet. Today’s newsletter is one of those old-fashioned question
and answer sessions. Let’s do it.

*** QUESTION ***

Hey Jeffy,
First let me say thanks so much for your free newsletters. I
must admit that I subsrcibe to a bunch of them and yours are
the most content laden, comprehensive and practical. As a
result, I have already signed up for the Superconference in
New York.

Anyway, I have a quick question and will provide a bit of
background for you. As I am feeling pretty confident these
days, I would like to take the chance of attempting to
reconnect with a few girls that I dated a couple of years or
so ago-I still have their phone numbers.

I know, I know have an abundance frame…

Anyway, these are girls that I went out with roughly 5-6
times, but will likely remember me. In terms of my history of
dating these various girls, things just basically fizzled
out, but did not end particularly badly at all.

Bottom line-I would like to give them a call to reconnect and
try to go out again. I don’t think I have anything to lose
and these girls could provide some momentum for me.

My question is: How do I start off the conversation of
reconnecting when either they pick up the phone or more
likely get their voicemail.

An idea/line/mindset/frame (i.e. should I use the holidays
angle?) on how to approach the situation would be greatly
appreciated.

Thanks Jeffy.

-Zack

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

Interesting, I like this.

First, I like the mentality. You have nothing to lose by
doing this. The key is, as always, to have fun with it and
understand that you are going to learn something no matter
what the outcome.

That said, I’d approach it like any other regular phone call.
Act as though there is absolutely nothing out of the ordinary
whatsoever, as though you got the number YESTERDAY.

So just run standard phone game. Likely, she will be somewhat
confused, but you are just going to plow through it and
frame control it into the ground.

So you call up, say what’s up, be super fun and spike her
buying temperature with a funny story. If she gets into the
whole “where do I know you from” thing, don’t allow that thread
to thrive AT ALL.

Be like, “Oh so sweet, you are still that adorable and curious
kitten of desire… I’ll get you a saucer of milk and you
can sleep out on the front porch in a box labeled ‘Cuddles the
Kitten.’”

Again, pump up the fun and buying temperature and then tell
her you’ll call her later and hang up.

If she doesn’t remember you, you can bet she’s wanting to know
who you are now after you pumped her up and left her hanging like
this.

Alternately, you could do a challenging type thing where you
say something like, “I’m cleaning out my phone and I wanted
to see if your number was worth keeping.”

Now, there’s the chance that they’re in a different place in
their life right now, for example you may get responses like,
“Well I have a boyfriend now,” but that’s to be expected.
In that instance, I’d probably just say, “Okay well I’ll
give you a call then sometime,” and see how that played.

But yeah, it’s only weird if you THINK it is, remember that.

Play ball!

Let take our next caller.

*** SUCCESS STORY ***

Hey Jeffy,

I recently just attended a bootcamp in LA and it was such an
eye opening experience. You guys seriously change lives out
there man and I have so much respect for what you guys do.

My first question is: Do you guys have an advanced bootcamp
for guys who have already done a bootcamp but may want to
refine their skills without being told the same thing about
society’s impact etc.. and concentrating more on existing
game?

You guys talked about doing “another bootcamp” during my
last one and I was considering coming back after a year or
so.

and my second topic is:

I’m a college student, 21 living in Seattle. I live in the
greek system and I go out quite a bit. The problem with the
greek system is that you run into the same crowd of people
a lot of times and drunk college girls have short attention
spans.

I guess my question is what kind of advice can you give me
about ‘college game’ and another important question is what
else can I do to escalate with out coming off as needy
besides putting my arm around them and saying the’yre going
to be my girlfriend for the next 5 minutes?

If you want to elaborate on escalating or have a list of
different examples that would be awesome!

Thanks! Keep up the awesome newsletters!

-A

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

This is a question I hear from time to time. Guys who are afraid
to run game because they think they’re going to run into
the same people time and time again.

Look, you stated yourself that these women are too wasted to
remember you five minutes later, so what’s the hangup?

If you somehow think that this issue is confined to the
college scene, then you’re mistaken. Look at this… I started
going out four years ago and picking up in bars and clubs.

Today, I literally CAN NOT go anywhere in San Francisco without
seeing at LEAST one girl I’ve slept with, or picked up, or got
blown out by, whatever. It is well-known who I am and what I
do.

Do you think this harms me?

No. Because I could not care less if I tried. And in many cases,
it’s helpful because it piques their interest.

When Ozzie was first learning this in his small town in Spain, he
quickly got a reputation as “that guy who tries to talk to girls
and wears ridiculous clothes.” Guys at the bar would make jokes
about him.

That is, until they saw him start to make out with chicks and
pull them. Then they started calling him “superstar” and wanting
to hang with him so they could pick up the scraps.

This fear you have is all about ego protection.

The fact of the matter is, you are going to screw up as you
learn this stuff. You have to embrace the failure, and the
humiliation that is bound to come as you go through the process
of learning how to be good with women.

Dude. You have to let go of the ego. Until you do that, you will
never achieve greatness in this area.

Besides, you’re a in college. Even if you become the
biggest laughing stock of the school, you’re outta there in a
year. So who cares?

Do it man. Go all in. That’s what it takes to transform your
life. It’s all or nothing, RIGHT HERE… RIGHT NOW.

College game is the easiest game out there, man. Just project
value, gain attraction and PULL THE TRIGGER.

Again, all these worries about coming across as “too needy”
fall into the category of ego protection. Who cares if you
are rejected?

Be cool, be aggressive and be prepared to have FUN and LEARN
regardless of the outcome. Apply what you were taught at
bootcamp systematically and there is no danger of seeming
needy. We don’t teach “NEEDY.”

WE TEACH “BAD MOFO.”

And once you feel you’ve gotten your head around what was taught
at the first program you took, then by all means you should
participate in another.

Our programs are fully customized, as you well know. For a guy
taking a second program, we throw the basic playbook out the
window and take things to the next level. You’ll begin to get
an appreciation of what our Executive Coaches have to go
through as you will be pushed EVEN FARTHER and your advanced
sticking points are LASERED OUT of you.

Typicall, I wouldn’t want to see a guy back at our doorstep
for several months, because it takes a while for all of the
information to seep in and take hold after the first
program. Additionally, I don’t want to see guys become
“seminar junkies,” where they mindlessly take program after
program but don’t actually apply the teachings.

So yeah, once you’ve digested and integrated the lessons of
your first Bootcamp into your life, you should definitely
consider developing your skills more by taking a second
program.

If you haven’t taken a program with us yet, now is
the time. To get that core skillset down in the
least amount of time possible, an RSD Individualized Bootcamp is
the way to go.

During your bootcamp, you’ll work one-on-one with some of the
world’s best. Over the course of three days, your game will be
analyzed by the experts, and dissected until all your sticking
points are laid bare. Then they’ll be ANNIHILATED, so they’re
just an unpleasant memory that you’ve learned to laugh about…
while you’re making sweet love to the girl (or girls) of your
dreams.

Sound good? That’s because it is.

THIS IS NOT MARKETING JERK-OFF NONSENSE.

THIS IS *REAL*.

When I first got into the game, I approached it with a great deal
of skepticism. After all, I was just an average-looking guy with
little money and a lame-ass commuter car.

Little did I know I was about to embark on a journey beyond my
wildest dreams. I can now score almost effortlessly, as if at
will.

You can take this trip too, and your boarding pass is a Real
Social Dynamics Bootcamp.

Please ensure your seat backs and tray tables are locked in
their full, upright position, then sign up for your program
TODAY:

http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/n/bootcamps.asp

Coolio… let’s move this right along:

*** QUESTION ***

Dear Jeffy,

Thanks a lot for your newsletters. They’ve definitely helped
my game, with some concrete results.

I’m having a problem, though, and hoped you might have a few
pearls of wisdom.

I put my finger on it last night: I was at a party, having
fun and doing well approaching girls, but I can’t seem to get
beyond the point of cocky banter to more personal one-on-one
conversations or indications of interest.

I was dressed well (trendy striped shirt, t-shirt, and
jeans), was popular at the party, and am reasonably
attractive — though look younger than I am (21) — but a
female friend said I looked like I had to get up early to go
to church.

Apparently, I’m not coming across the way I think I’m coming
across. In other words, I’m afraid I’m projecting the wrong
persona and that it’s preventing me from taking interactions
with women to the next level.

What can I do???

Thanks again.
-James

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

All of this relates to the difference between an internally
centered person and an externally centered person. Being
internally centered means you’re stuck in your own head, and
constantly trying to micro-manage how others perceive you.

On the other hand, an externally centered person is not
concerned with such things, and is free to express himself
however he desires, without fear that it will be poorly
received.

Thus, the externally centered person will have less of a
tendency to qualify himself.

When trying to improve your level of social intelligence, it’s much
better to be externally centered for this reason. Being
externally centered will result in change much more quickly.

What sorts of things do we notice about ourselves and how
people treat us when we qualify ourselves to them?

They will tend to view you as a person of lesser value. The
sad fact of this game is that value is of paramount importance.

If you qualify yourself to others, they will blow you off…
you have nothing to offer, and are therefore not attractive.

This is the bitter irony: If we actually have the desire to
qualify ourselves as people of higher value, we end up
projecting the opposite - particularly when we’re the ones
approaching.

So forget about how you’re coming across, and focus more on
the interaction at hand.

You’re getting good reactions up front… that’s good. Now
you need to learn to move the interaction forward. That
means taking the conversation to a more FLIRTATIOUS level,
what with misinterpretive comments and the like.

You need to have a constant awareness of where you are in the
interaction, and where you want to go, and keep moving things
in that direction. Otherwise, you are going to continue to
spin your wheels.

It’s a learning process, bro. Don’t sweat it too much. But
be sure that you are PUSHING YOURSELF and not just choding
around out of fear.

If you want to get a rundown on our linear model of pickup
from A to Z, the SUPERCONFERENCE would be a great place to
start.

It is like a ninja school, with ninjas.

And it is coming to a city near you.

This is a very special program cooked up by RSD’s Executive
Producer, Tyler. This guy is simultaneously one of the most
revered and reviled guys in the game today, for one reason and
one reason only:

He gets results. Big time results.

This is the grand unification theory of pickup, presented by
the world’s foremost authority over the course of two full
days. It don’t get any better than this.

So yeah, learn more about this killer new program by visiting
here:

http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/n/seminars.asp

Well, I’d like to take this opportunity to give heartfelt
thanks for reading our newsletter.

Now I’m going back to bed. Stay frosty.

Sincerely,

Jeffy, Executive Coach
REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS