The Magic of Relaxed Confidence

Remember when we talked about how you
CAN’T be boring? How you need to create a
relaxed fun atmosphere that fosters trust
and intimacy?

That’s what we’re talking about now. If
you can get a woman laughing while she’s
relaxed and comfortable with you - AND
admiring your manly confidence - then you
create that magical formula. You trigger
her ATTRACTION and make an atmosphere
where she’s willing to act on it.

Ok, let’s get to the good stuff. How do
you create this great atmosphere?

This may be surprisingly easy. In fact,
you probably do this all the time.

Think about it: how often do you rag on
your friends? How often do you press their
buttons, or just share laughs about funny
or strange stuff?

Uh huh, I thought so. All the freaking
time.

Well, that’s all you’ve gotta do. Most
guys, when they find an attractive woman,
they turn into vanilla inoffensive blah
men who just hope they won’t say the wrong
thing.

Guess what? THAT is exactly the wrong
thing. You may think you’re being nice,
but women will sniff your abnormal
behavior a mile away. To them, it FEELS
like a lie. It feels like you’re just
interested in getting in her pants. You’ve
started to chase her - so you shouldn’t be
surprised when she starts to run away.

Treat her like one of the fellas, and
you’ll avoid that whole creepy pick-up
feel. You won’t activate her defenses, and
you’ll foster comfort.

>From there, you need to be fun.

TEASE. This is HUGE. It shows you aren’t
intimidated by her, and it keeps your
conversation light and playful. You might
even get her taking the half-truth theory
of comedy to heart, and trying to impress
you.

Don’t show her too much attention, either.
If you’re in a group, feel free to ignore
her now and again. She might try to spark
your attention by flirting with other
guys.

LET her. You KNOW that it’s you she’s
after, and she’s just trying to get a rise
out of you. Don’t give it to her. In fact,
tease her about THAT. “Wow, you’re so in
love and intimidated by me, the only way
you can communicate is by trying to make
me jealous? You know, that would work…
if I was in middle school.”

Have FUN with it. In fact, that’s what
makes this so easy - you will know
immediately whether you’re on the right
track or not by how much fun YOU are
having. If you’re feeling stress, it’s not
working. If you’re having a laugh, things
are good.

It takes a little time to make this work -
most men feel nervous when talking to an
attractive woman. Practice relaxing.
Create an anchor.

An anchor? When you are doing your
relaxation exercises clearing your mind,
do something with your body, a trigger.
Click your tongue, or run it over your
teeth. Wiggle your pinky three times.
Whatever, just link it to that relaxed
feeling.

Right before you approach a woman close
your eyes and make the same motion.
Trigger that relaxation in yourself like a
Pavlovian dog salivating at a bell. It’s
incredibly silly and works incredibly
well.

Then, just let yourself have fun.

If you don’t think of yourself as a
naturally funny person, believe it or not,
you can learn humor. The biggest thing is
pointing out absurdities. Teasing.
TEASING. Don’t be mean, but don’t be shy
either. If she asks you to do something,
say to her friends (PLAYFULLY) “Is she
always this pushy? Man, how do you put up
with her?” If her dancing is atrocious,
say (SARCASTICALLY) “I see we have a new
Lord of the Dance!” When she asks for your
number, say “Boy, you work fast. I barely
know you! Let me guess, you’re just
looking for fresh body to stalk and it
doesn’t even matter who I am. Well, I am
more than just a body! I am a complex
combination of experiences, emotions, and
thoughts…here, don’t call before 6 pm, I
need my beauty sleep.”

That’s not so hard, is it? Ok, time to get
to work. Think of all the situations where
you might meet women, and make a page in
your journal for each. What do you find
there? Crazy clothes and dancing for
clubs, food and money for supermarkets,
art for museums… you get the idea.

Next, come up with funny remarks for each
subject. (Those times you thought of the
perfect thing to say after the fact? It
works better before.) Try them out
(natch). Refine and perfect them. Make
notes of anything you come up with on the
fly, or things you hear others say that
work.

Make a special section just for teasing
women. You might make some mistakes and go
too deep too fast from time to time,
turning a woman off (although you can
recover from this if you keep your head
and follow up with something funny). Make
plenty of notes about what works, and what
sort of things can get you out of a hole.

We’ll go more in depth with the topic of
conversation later, but for now it’s
enough that you indoctrinate yourself into
the playful attitude. Fool around with it,
and make sure you keep it as play. If
you’re sweating over this, take a break
and work on other areas. You need to be
relaxed for this to work (or else you run
the risk of coming off as a colossal
prick), and if you aren’t, then come back
to it later when you are more comfortable.

Combined with relaxed confidence, a
relaxed playfulness is the best attitude
you can have, and creates the best
atmosphere possible.

If you want to experience where relaxed
playfulness can take you with the women of
your dreams, check out Seduction
Science: http://www.seductionscience.com/getthegirlfriend/
It is jam packed with
everything you need to take your seduction
skills to the next level.

Enjoy,

Derek
http://www.seductionscience.com/getthegirlfriend/

Check it out.