“I’m Confused And In Love With Her”
Dear Speed Seduction® Student,
It really is an amazing thing how the options you have determine the vision you see and how the vision you see determines the options you have.
Now, if that seems to “philosophical” to you, hang on a minute, because I want to show you how that seemingly abstract idea can translate to either a river of moist, pink abundance or a life of dating your hand.
(By the way, your key to success and power with women is, of course, the Speed Seduction(R) Home Study Course: http://www.seduction.com/products/rj187.asp)
Now listen: I have long taught about the power of belief and perspective to change your life. Beliefs are not some “new age” “airy fairy” nonsense. They are very powerful, because what you believe will determine how you interpret situations that are, on the face of it, unclear. Your beliefs will determine how far you can think and the very options and ideas of possibility that occur to you.
If you can’t even conceive of something as being possible, then how can you act on it to bring you what you want?
The way you see a situation and the way you see your options will determine what you do. And what you DO determines what you get.
So often, I get email from guys who are stuck on ONE girl. They want to know what to do in their situation to win that ONE girl, without even realizing that there is an entire world filled with awesome, fun women, if they just knew how to reach THEM. Then they wouldn’t be so stuck on that ONE girl.
Here is an email I just received from a guy in this situation. Read on, because you are about to learn a valuable lesson on belief and perspective for yourself, no matter what you current situation with women (stud or dud or in between, you WILL learn something from this!)
Hi Ross,
I have a girl who is a ‘friend’ who I’m falling in love with. She has a boyfriend who she lives with but has been flirting with me lots over the last 4 months.
On Saturday she stayed over with some lady friends and told me she ‘had a thing about me’. She has given me so many messages to indicate a relationship.
However, I feel like a rabbit caught up in the headlights of an oncoming car. I’m paralysed by the fact that she is living with someone and feel confused about getting drawn into her. My feelings have gotten stronger and stronger the more I see her yet I can’t seem to tell her.
How do I get rid of these feelings that feel like a drug? She indicates she’ll marry her boyfriend if he gets his job in New York yet indicates that she is not entirely happy with life with him. And then she does all this flirting with me.
I’m confused and in love with her. She’s giving me all the signals and I feel stuck.
Some RJ advice would be most welcome.
Regards,
Brian
RJ: Brian, I have some “advice” for you, but you may not want to hear what I have to say.
First of all, I can bet dollars to donuts that you have little or no experience with women. I would venture to say that this one woman is probably the only woman with whom you’ve had any kind of semi-intimate contact/connection for quite some time.
So the first question I ask when I read something like this is, “What are the skill sets that this person is missing in their world?” In other words, if all the focus that went into this “crush” on this woman were to be productively applied, what skill set would this person put that energy to? What work is
having this “crush” allowing this person to avoid doing?
Obviously, it’s the work of working on YOUR confidence and YOUR ability to go out and meet and attract LOTS of women.
Do you see how all of this “crushing” is distracting you from the lessons you really need to learn? And, how underneath the “love” is really the FEAR and the feeling of LACK?
That’s the first thing. The second thing is, you say you “love” this woman, yet you don’t feel safe to share what you really think and feel with her AND you feel confused.
Well, you OUGHT to be confused because she is behaving in a CONFUSED fashion. She says she’d marry her boyfriend, but she flirts with you AND she tells you that she has a thing about you.
No wonder you don’t feel safe around her and you feel confused: her mixed messages ARE confusing. She dangles the bait and then YANKS it away by talking about wanting to marry her boyfriend.
In other words, she’s fractionating you. Giving you some, then taking it back, then giving it again. This can shake the mind/state of even an experienced, confident guy if he isn’t prepared to handle it. How much more will it shake a guy who has little or no experience in intimate connections with women?
Here’s What You Do To Finally Nail Her
First of all, you have to take the energy of this “crush” and ritually sacrifice it; redirect it to believe and dedication to a whole new life with a whole new set of possibilities and a whole new set of skills.
(If you want to radically transform your beliefs and ideas about women and indeed success in life, go here: http://www.seduction.com/products/RJ170.asp)
Second, next time you talk to her, tell her you have had it with her confusing behavior. That you will no longer be her ego support when she needs attention to prop her up because she has doubts in her relationship with her boyfriend-she should go marry him and leave you alone. That women who truly love their man don’t engage in this kind of behavior and you won’t have any part of it. Then hang up the phone or walk out if you are in person; I recommend doing this on the phone.
When she calls you back, tell her you won’t talk on the phone about it, that she can come talk to you in person. When she comes over, as she starts to talk, put your finger to her lips in the ‘Shhh” gesture. Take her by the hand to the bedroom. Take her clothes off and fuck her savagely. Then throw her out and NEVER..TALK..TO..HER..AGAIN!
I’m serious. This is the most radical, powerful, empowered thing you could do, the ONE THING YOU WOULD NEVER EVEN BE ABLE TO ENVISION. Yet is the VERY thing that would set you free and powerfully push you out of your mentality of lack and need.
Right now, as you had been thinking about it, up til this moment, it was through the lens of lack. Now you can begin to see it in a new way.
And trust me, this confused and confusing girl does NOT deserve to be around you. And her boyfriend, if he’s smart, will dump her ass too.
Peace and piece,
RJ
P.S. I’m serious about this advice. I don’t normally preach “fuck and dump” but in this case, she’s earned it with her toying with you and also it would be the radical move to transform your life. Just use protection and do NOT get this witch pregnant!
P.P.S. Want to really transform your life with women? Get your ass to a seminar now:
http://seduction.com/losAngelesMarchseminar.asp
Straightforward Inc
822 Eagle Point Road
Van Alstyne
TX 75495
United States
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