Reverse Stripper Game

I just returned from a week-long trip to the jungles of the
Yucatan, pure vacation. My friend was getting married down
there and about 120 people attended. It was cosmic.

I went diving in underwater caverns. I explored the Mayan
ruins.

I was there to rest. Not to impress anyone, or be cool, or get
laid.

I sat in a hut and stared at the lizards on the ceiling
for hours on end, pondering… stuff.

And I came to several important realizations.

Foremost among these was the importance of BALANCE in one’s
life.

See, prior to embarking on this trip, I’ve been getting a
little OUT of balance. As you probably know by now, I’ve
undergone a process of transforming my health and physique from
that of a flabby chode to a ripped-abs superhero.

To that end, I spent the weeks leading up to the Mexico trip
going INSANE. Trips to the gym THREE TIMES A DAY. Riding 60
miles on the bike EVERY DAY.

As I got on the plane to Mexico, every fiber of my body was
fatigued and sore. But my abs looked pretty solid, yo!

As expected, people I hadn’t seen in years were impressed
beyond words. Several came up to confide that I had inspired
them, which gave me a feeling of contribution that nearly
brought me to tears.

But my muscles still felt like crap. Furthermore, I’d been
slacking on other areas in my life. Working out and counting
calories had become a full-time job.

By the third day of just lying around and drinking, my body
began to appreciate the rest. So did my mind. It became clear
that I needed to get back on track in the areas I had been
neglecting.

The point is this: take a look at your own life right now and
think about where you’re out of balance. Make adjustments.
That’s it.

Oh, and I did manage to get a BJ, quite by accident, in the
middle of the jungle. The chick approached me… and I just
sort of acted like myself.

Next thing you know, I’m gettin a hummer in the jungle. A
first for me. An iguana was watching, which made it difficult
for me to come. She swallowed it. The iguana wasn’t impressed…
but I was.

Anyway, let’s do this newsletter thing, yo!

*** QUESTION ***

Enjoy reading your newsletters and if it can’t be said enough
you have helped me see the light. It’s amazing how having been
a nice guy, sorry chode for so long can be turned around so
quickly. I have had some real Eureka moments recently and
thank you for that.

Now my problem is going to sound extra wack. I have a
part-time job working in a nightclub for my friend. I do
a show for hen parties introducing the club, the man with his
dangly bits, telling jokes, getting the hens up on stage to do
a clothed lap dance to win champagne, etc, etc.

My confidence isn’t something that has really ever been a
problem but here is the clincher.

Because I am so confident and work in a nightclub I am expected
to be the greatest lothario since Valentino. How can I
convince girls that I am a sincere guy and beat the barrier
that is instantly there.

I have relative success but all I ever hear is “I bet you tell
all the girls that”, “I bet you shag a different chick every
week “, ” you must love it being here, I could never be with
someone like you “.

These statements should be true, and will be true now
that I am becoming a new person but how can I respond to that
line of questioning. Trying different things from, I just
split with a long term girlfriend, I am different to that, but
it just won’t wash.

I know a couple of the other guys there are in a similar position.

So, whats the answer fella??

vanillamagic

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

Hmmm. An interesting dilemma. Reverse stripper game, if you will.

What it comes down to is value. In that particular environment,
you are, in many cases, OVERQUALIFIED.

Now, this is a term that I’m loathe to pull out, because in
the vast majority of instances, this is NOT a consideration.

For example, let’s take a guy like Brad Pitt. He’s highly
overqualified for 95% of women on the planet, yet when the
rubber met the road, they’d likely get with him regardless
of this fact.

But yours is a unique situation.

The solution lies in altering your TONE as you interact with
these “hens.”

You indicated that you are super confident. Couple that with
the fact that you work at this club, and it’s easy for a girl
to make all sorts of assumptions.

I face a similar problem when women discover what it is I do for
a living. I hear the exact same things that you wrote from them…
that I say this to all the girls, etc.

What I do at this point is cut the “game” per se, and let
my VALUE do the work. In particular, I drop the cocky teasing
stuff, and focus on connection.

In other words, you’re going to get attraction by default, so
going in all manic and aggressive is going to get you blown
out. It’s too much.

Focus on rapport building. If they make these comments, you just
frame control them away, either by ignoring them outright or
by framing yourself as the victim (”sigh. People make so many
assumptions about me, and it hurts. I just want to find someone
I can really connect with. Don’t say that stuff… it’s not
cool.”) and dismissing it.

Don’t be afraid to take a nice-guy tack. Being super friendly,
and even limited complimenting might be called for here. You
want to show that you are NOT this “Valentino” character, but
rather just a regular, cool guy who happens to have a unique
job.

Operating within this framework you can then proceed as usual…
befriend the peer group, work the logistics and escalate
physically (NOT while in the club mind you!) and it’s on.

Experiment with this and let me know how it works. I suspect
you’re about to bust into a world of insanity.

Next caller please!

*** SUCCESS STORY ***

Hey Jeffy,

First of all bud - thanks for providing us men with this
awesome service - free advice every week?! You da man. This
stuff helps us guys advance our game so quickly. The thing I
really love about RSD is it’s the most REAL system out
there.

So many guys don’t get into the field enough and are
far too analytic about the whole thing - you guys are
straight shooters and give great advice!

Just over a year ago I was a virgin who essentially had no
game. Since then my game has become sooo much better. At the
start I was a lame chode who didn’t know how to build
interest or keep women interested.

I’ve since realized that the most important thing to do to
quickly advance was to GO TO WORK ON YOURSELF!

It seems simple, but it is completely necessary. Early in my
learnings I would look at how other guys were doing things
and think that that was the way I had to do it too - wrong!

Realizing that I was in this game for myself helped me a lot
- analyzing what I wanted out of all this set up my inner
game framework.

At first inner game seemed like an enigma to me, but after a
a fairly hardcore self-education I started learning about the
dynamics of male-female interactions. This helped me build
confidence in myself - knowing these things built momentum.

As well, putting things into perspective helped a lot too.

Realizing that in the long run it really didn’t matter if I
botched some approach or got bad reactions. The mindset of
constantly improving your skill-set kept me motivated no
matter what.

Before my education I was essentially a wandering boat in a
ocean with no port to aim for. After realizing what I WANTED
in life it started to manifest all around me. I think that
simply knowing what you want builds confidence within and
helps to project confidence outward.

I have taken ‘the game’ fairly seriously and now can walk
into bars and end up having fun conversations and and talk
to any woman I want to. If there’s a couple things I’d like
to share with your readers that I’ve found helpful I would
say that knowing yourself is the most important thing in this
game.

Working on developing your strengths and showcasing them is
important! Eye contact is a biggy and so is staying sober for
as long as possible. Gaming is much easier when you have a
clear head.

Going in just a little too relaxed helps. And always pushing
forward in the conversation is important, even if you or her
says something stupid don’t worry about it, just keep moving
forward!!

That’s about it for now, many thanks for the REAL advice. You
guys have helped me learn more in one night at a bar than I
could have learned in 20 nights studying psychology or
something like that. The Field is where you learn!!

I’ve gone from having nearly 0 social skills to being one of
the most outgoing people anywhere I go. Thanks!!

M.Dawg from Toronto! 21 yrs old.

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

Wow. Reading this, you can tell it’s from a guy who is out there
integrating this stuff into his life, as opposed to just
endlessly theorizing about it.

What more can I say here? There’s not too much to add. I feel
this is a letter that hass a lot of content in and of itself.
All of the points he makes are valid to the core.

One point in particular is ALWAYS PUSHING FORWARD.

I’ve taken some improv comedy workshops, and in these they
have you do certain exercises where you go around in a circle
with the other students. And what they always tell you is that
even if you can’t think of anything to say within the framework
of the exercise, just blurt something out, ANYTHING.

What you say is not as important as keeping the game going. A
crucial lesson, really.

And of course, M Dawg also reiterates the mighty pillar of the
game which reminds us that THE FIELD IS WHERE YOU LEARN.

Not on the internet.

Not on the sidelines.

In the trenches.

And that’s exactly where you’ll be thrust when you participate
in a Real Social Dynamics Bootcamp.

A three-day, live program designed to rock your identity down
to its foundations.

We give you the tools.

We take you into the field.

We show you how it´s done, then we give you the reins and let you
take over, while our staff of highly trained Executive
Coaches keep a close watch on your performance and your
progress, making minute corrections the entire time.

By the end of the weekend, you´re changed forever… set
on the path to a new, more fulfilling life.

To learn more about Real Social Dynamics Bootcamps, visit:

http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/n/bootcamps.asp

Okay? Good, now that that´s settled, let´s move on to our
next esteemed subscriber:

*** QUESTION ***

Hey Jeff

I’ve heard it said that, in groups with both guys and girls,
one good approach is to establish value and rapport with the
guys first, and the girls will follow.

I was just at a party with a kind of weird vibe, one part of
which was that there was a group of guys at one table, and a
group of girls at another; some of the girls were with some
of the guys, but they were not socialising directly together.

My gut told me that part of working this scene was to open
the guys - but I couldn’t find a way to do it.

I felt like most of the techniques and conversation starters I
knew were tailored more to a female audience; and I couldn’t
come up with anything non-lame on the spur of the moment (my
best was, “So how do you guys know each other?”).

Part of this is that I lack confidence in a group of confident
men. So I know I need to work on that. But what sort of
openers / value displays / rapport builders would you use
here?

Thanks
Nicholas

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

Well, you’ve sort of answered your own question here, haven’t
you?

“Part of this is that I lack confidence in a group of confident
men.”

This is why you felt the techniques wouldn’t work.

It’s not because they wouldn’t work on guys. They do, I know
this for a fact. A conversation starter is a conversation
starter, and if it wouldn’t work on a guy, it probably wouldn’t
work on a girl either.

What’s at issue here is the fact that you’re holding on to
concerns about the outcome.

This was a party, was it not? Then your concern should be having
FUN, not engineering a shuttle launch or something.

Screw that… your concern should be BEING fun, not having it.

See, a wise man once said, “We’re human BEINGS, not human
DOINGS.”

In other words, if you put yourself in the right state, the
techniques will fall in place like dominoes.

I may be getting a little esoteric here, and for that I
apologize. But I will leave you with some concrete advice.

Next time you find yourself in a situation like this, where
you’re questioning whether or not a particular approach
is the correct one, take a deep breath, and say, “I am commited
to being FUN, and OUTGOING, RIGHT NOW.”

Then just approach, and throw all concerns about outcome to
the wind. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised with
the results.

Don’t worry about failure. There can be no success without failure.
It’s inevitable. Remember, I’ve failed WAYYYY more than you
likely EVER WILL when it comes to this stuff.

You can analyze it later. For now, PARTY ON BABY!

Speaking of parties, I’m gonna go ahead and invite you to
one that we’re having here at RSD.

Yes, I am of course talking about the Superconference, a 2
day classroom seminar, taught by none other than the
co-founder of Real Social Dynamics, Tyler, and one that you
can check out in the comfort of your own home.

As he travels the globe, Tyler will stop in a major
metropolitan area near YOU to deliver this one-of-a-kind
two-day seminar in a home study course.

This is like backing up a dump truck filled with the latest
epiphanies and strategies from one of the greatest minds in the
game, and having it dumped straight on top of your head.

This isn’t armchair theory, either. This is the stuff that
Tyler, arguably a bona-fide GENIUS when it comes to this game,
has developed over the course of YEARS spent in the field, honing
his skill-set to “superstar” proportions.

To learn more, visit:

http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/foundations.asp

Anyway, I’m pleased as all get out to be back in the USA, and
even more pleased to have dodged the Montezuma’s Revenge
bullet.

From the very depths of my bowels, I salute those about to
rock the field. See you next time.

Sincerely,

Jeffy, Executive Coach
REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS