Pump up your game

QUESTION:

I’ve been following the steps to overcome my approach anxiety the past 3 months and think I have been doing OK.

Granted it took me some time to get going but in the past few weeks I have been approaching women I find attractive and been trying to get numbers. I have been striking in out in that the one’s I am interested in already in a relationship.

But I am approaching and am trying to approach 1 more woman each week. However after each “rejection” (use that terms loosley since I really wasn’t rejected) I keep thinking about my ex. We were together for 6 yrs., broke up over Thanksgiving and haven’t had contact since.

The more I think about it the more I realize I lost 6 years of my life and start to get frustrated/anger/depressed. I just keep
picturing her with someone else and for some reason can’t get that out of my head. I keep telling myself from one of your podcasts that I’d rather be alone than with the wrong women and after 3 months I’ve come to realize she was wrong for me.

I guess I just need a boost but what can I do to overcome this?

B

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CARLOS:

I hear you on this, brother. I’ve been haunted before. First off, you have to recognize that your neural pathways (AKA, your brain) got conditioned to her. It’s not going to pass overnight. You’re haunted.

So you wanna get un-haunted?

B, I have to call them like I see them. I’m a straight shooter, and I have to tell you that you’re not REALLY believing what you’re
telling me about rejection not being rejection. I can hear it in your tone of email. (Yes, I can read between the lines.)

You see, RATIONALLY you know that you shouldn’t think of being turned down this way as rejection, but your HEART denies it. You don’t believe it because your self-esteem and self-image are pretty poor right now. Lower than a snake’s belly. After 6 years of being bonded with this broad, you gotta find ways to re-validate yourself.

No, this isn’t some touchy-feely new age notion. You need to get out there and feel good about NOT having a woman before you’re going to feel good enough to get one. Remember my saying: You’re better off single than with the wrong person.

I’d start using that vivid imagination you’re currently using to picture her with someone else and start imagining YOURSELF with
someone else. You see, you need to get your own thinking under control, amigo. The most important skill you will ever learn in the
area of Dating and At traction (and maybe life) is how to control your thinking.

ABSOLUTELY.

So it’s time for you to start using that imagination to HELP you instead of hurt you.

Who do you blame when you punch yourself in the face?

Do you blame the guy that said “Hey, punch yourself in the face!”

Uh, no. YOU are the one doing this, so YOU need to take responsibility.

No more excuses. When those thoughts come up, BREAK THEM.

Yell out “Stop!” as loud as you can in your thoughts. Start taking control of your own thinking. It’s time for you to Get Alpha NOW.

http://coldfusion.affiliateshop.com/AIDLink.cfm?AID=068877

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CARLOS:

I saw this on another blog recently and I thought you should read this, too.

Many of you are aware that I’m no stranger to pop culture and media, but I hate broadcast television in almost all its forms.
I’ll watch television shows, but only after they’ve been released on DVD. I HATE commercials and the insidious way that television
controls our society.

Hate may sound powerful, but it’s damn close to that.

Not to mention, Television just stops you from living a REAL life. Unplug and achieve your own goals, not live vicariously through
other imagined events.

Get out there and use this time to create the relationship YOU want in life, without other people telling you how to live your life…

Anyway, here are some observations you might want to consider:

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I conclude that television is an extremely effective and powerful way of controlling, manipulating, and distracting the American
people. It works in three very basic and obvious ways:

1. Making you the passive observer of current events.

When you watch television, you become a passive observer of news. When this happens, your cognitive processes slow down, and you absorb information before you have a chance to process it. In this way, television makes your brain a soft and squishy sponge, perfectly willing to internalize all the misinformation that is propagated to further somebody else’s agenda. When you become an active seeker of news (as you are when you browse websites, read newspapers, or talk to other people) you are more likely to question and analyze the content before believing that it is true. If your co-worker tells you that the guy in the next cubicle is stashing weapons of mass destruction under his desk, you are likely to ask for proof; but if a TV news anchor tells you something similar, you will probably go on thinking that it is true.

2. Making you a consumerist whore.

Even if you turn your set off during commercials, you are still constantly being bombarded with advertisements on a very
subconscious level. You can’t buy the things that you need to make your life better, but television is extremely successful at
convincing you of the exact opposite. Your husband will not love you more if you cut your hair like Jennifer Anniston, there is no
difference between a Hyundai and a Mercedes, and there is nothing in the world that will make you look like an underwear model.

3. Distracting you from the real problems.

Television is able to distract you from the real problems (in your life, in the world) by either presenting you with irrelevant and
superficial problems that will divert your focus, or by providing enough instant gratification to make you forget about your drab and wretched life. Someone on television tells you that two guys in San Francisco want to get married, and you are so distracted by this attack on your ideals that you conveniently forget that there is a war, in which many innocent people are dying. Or you spend your evenings watching attractive people doing exciting things, and this escapism prevents you from facing reality and making positive changes in your own life. (By the way, there is nothing wrong with seeking entertainment, but television creates a routine of dependency that inadvertently results in a state of false complacency).

- Just a thought or two for you guys who may be addicted to this medium. If you want to know the Alpha Man solution, here’s mine: I got a Netflix membership. I wait for the good stuff to come out on DVD, and then I can watch things when *I* want to, and without commercials.

Makes sense to me…

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WILL THE “GAME” BUST YOURS?

QUESTION:

Well, I just have a question that I’ve been pondering for some time. I recently purchased Neil Strauss’s “The Game”, and I find it
to be amazingly fascinating. It has opened my eyes to the world of pickup dramatically and givin me a new outlook on the whole “Game”.

My question though is it seems like all the beans have been spilled and it just seems like now that the book is being exposed to the public and the pickup community is getting bigger by day, that all this stuff will be useless after some time.

I mean what’s your take on this Carlos? And do you think this book is good for the pickup community or not? P. S - Its amazing the amount of dedication and time Neil spent going after his goal of becoming the best PUA today, I never knew it takes that much hard work to be that good in the game. This book has opened my eyes quite alot.
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CARLOS:

Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so. In other words, if you think it will be bad, you’ll create the evidence (and the
reality) that it is, in fact, bad. If you believe it will be good, it will be good. What I think will happen is this:

- Some guys will read it and think, “Wow. Great stuff. Now if I could just do this… but wait a second! Every guy out there is
going to be doing this! I’m too late to do this.”

And they completely miss the train because they were LOOKING for an excuse to not do anything. These are the guys that don’t get much accomplished in their life because they’re addicted to their struggle. Adios.

- Some guys will read this and over-use the word-for-word approaches and strategies. BIG MISTAKE. Because some guys already
are doing this, and yes they are getting blown out like never before.

And they DESERVE to.

Mindlessly reciting lines you read in a book is the hallmark of a lazy mind. At least have the originality to recycle this material
into a more original way, something that doesn’t sound like what everyone else is using.

- Some guys will read this stuff and have the sense to tailor it to their own style. Because, to answer your question, the principles
are the most important part, and they will not change.

What works, will work. Techniques come and go, but PRINCIPLES last.

You’ll just have to recycle it and do it more AUTHENTICALLY. (Part of my new R.E.A.L. Game, by the way.)

Look, everyone out there knows that if you eat right and exercise, you will be healthy. You’ll lose weight. It’s known, right? But
still, most people don’t do it.

Why?

LAZINESS.

I could hand someone the deed to a diamond mine and they’d stay poor because they don’t understand how to motivate themselves to unlock this power. They wouldn’t be able to find the energy to dig for the diamonds. Good for the guys that use this information and understand how it works.

This is what I mean when I say you’ve got to be relentless about this stuff. Life will give you more than enough opportunity to cop
out with some lame excuse about why this ‘isn’t you’ or you ‘can’t do this.’

Excuses are a dime a dozen.

Alpha Men are one in a million.

I assure you success if you do what I recommend, and follow the simple strategies I’ve got for you.

When I was first trying to get my game solid with women, one thing I wished I’d had was someone to coach me. Someone that could tell me if I was doing everything the right way, or where I should turn if it was going wrong.

Well, I went through a lot before I figured a lot of this stuff out, and now I want to help you out. Someone once said that you can buy a book and get the benefit of a LIFETIME of another persons experience. That’s a pretty good trade, if you think about it for a second.

So why not get that kind of experience from me? Let me coach you to better success with women.

I wanted to let you know about the latest Audio Coaching session I just released. Each month I create a 120 Minute program with TONS of strategies, tactics, openers, tips, techniques, motivators, and more for you to use.

SESSION 31 for April 2006 is now ready for download. This month we cover:

This Month’s Session includes:

THE MISSION - Exercise to improve your Approach Skills: Baselining your approach skills…

FIELD REPORT - THE “W” - We review a field outing to the “W” bar in the XYZ hotel of San Francisco…

ONE-ITIS - What One-itis is, How to know if you have it, ways to counter it…

INTRODUCTION TO ONLINE DATING - Learn the critical basics for online dating, which women use online dating, Why women use it …

ROMANTIC CHALLENGE - The obstacles between you and her that you must create, why women love challenge …

UNIVERSAL APPROACH STRATEGY - Why conversations fail with women, Keeping the conversation fun, How women communicate differently than men, what you must give a woman in conversation…

and a LOT more …

Not only do you get the 120+ minutes of each session when you subscribe, but you also get these bonuses:

1) Access to the Alpha Man Power Forum with hundreds of tips, posts, and advice you can discuss with other Alpha Men

2) SIX additional HOURS of Carlos Xuma’s first podcasts

3) A monthly bonus e-book

4) Monthly bonus Dating Advice Teleconference calls in MP3 format, with exclusive Q&A from Carlos Xuma

You can get it here:
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And if you subscribe this month, I’ll even throw in last month’s Session 30 for you at no additional charge…

Just remember: Every man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it.

You’ll get both of these sessions when you sign up for the Audio Coaching Subscription right away.

There is a bonus e-book included with every month of the audio now, too. There’s a ton of extra tips and strategies you don’t get in the audio.

Guys, this is really nuts. I’m not a salesman, I’m just your friendly neighborhood dating advice dude. I’ve been delivering the
goods in these audio coaching programs for almost 3 years now, and we’re getting better with every session…

It’s time to subscribe. As one of my preferred readers, I’m sending you an exclusive link to join today and get all this fantastic
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Go to this page and download your first two sessions, along with the bonuses, right now…

Go have a look at what the subscribers are saying about this transformational program.

- Carlos Xuma

PS: Start investing in yourself instead of hoping that someone will cast a magic spell on you. We all know that’s not going to happen. Your fate is in your own hands.

It’s time to understand the details of dating and at traction in the Advanced Audio Coaching.

Get it here:
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“The difference between great people and everyone else is that great people create their lives actively, while everyone else is
created by their lives, passively waiting to see where life takes them next.” - Michael E. Gerber.

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(C) 2003-2006 DD Publications, All Rights Reserved.
Carlos Xuma