Missed Connections

You know, they say you never get a second chance to
make a first impression. I think in most cases, that
statement holds true.

With regard to “game,” that famous axiom underscores
the importance of approaching with confidence and
without hesitation, speaking loudly and just
generally being assertive.

The reason I bring this up, though, is because I
got CRABS.

Yes, it’s time once again for the eagerly
anticipated Dungeness crab season in San Francisco.
Everyone I know is tripping about these damn crabs,
so I went down to the market and picked some up. Hell,
just to be thorough, I got some giant Alaskan King crab
legs. They were the size of baseball bats.

So I get home and discover that I don’t have
anything to crack the shells. I rummage around and
find a hatchet in the garage. That’ll do.

A short time later, I’m sitting there in the kitchen with
a crazed look in my eyes, surrounded with shell
fragments, face and hands covered in butter, chopping
at these crabs with an ax.

Right as I’m bringing the ax up for another chop, the
front door opens and my roommate walks in with her
parents.

I freeze.

They freeze.

They look at the hatchet.

They look at me.

Long story short, my roommate’s parents think she’s
living with a freaking lunatic.

Hmmm. They may be wrong, but for all I know, they
may be right.

Okay enough with the yadda yadda, let’s hit the
mailbag:

*** QUESTION ***

Hi Jeffy,

Okay so last night my game was super tight. I felt
on top of the world and my energy was contagious.

I went out alone with plans to meet my buddy later.
so I put myself in state and just chilled at the
bar, making solid eye contact with cuties and giving
a coy sort of smile.

Woman began making excuses to be in my vicinity and
I’d just smile, engage them and make them sit by me
(they did without hesitation).

I got two numbers in less than 30 minutes. It was
incredible. sometimes its just seems so effortless
for me and others its really difficult but if I
could bottle up last night and use it every night I
would. Now on to my question…

So I literally talked to this one hottie from
midnight to close (2am) and it was great. She was
immersed in every word I said (my buddy politely
excused himself). She was twirling her hair, staring
deep into my eyes, laughing at my stupid jokes,
touching me when she would talk, everything.

Near the end of the night I told her to go steal a
cigarette for me from some chump and we could go
outside and smoke it. She said cool and got up and
went outside and sat by this guy. THEN EVERYTHING
FELL APART.

He gives her a cigarette and she just stays there
while im chilling a couple tables over. 5 minutes
go by. 10. Im thinking okay shes been beyond polite
to this guy right? I go to the bathroom and close my
tab and try to collect my thoughts and figure what
went wrong.

I walk up to her finally and say I’m heading out and
she says “okay call me”. She said she looked for me
but didnt see me, but i question if that was true.
(she was pretty tipsy at this point so it could be a
possibility)

She calls me at 4am telling me shes going to bed and
that shes sorry for what happened, she was drunk and
to call her later.

Sooooo what would you do and what the hell did i do
wrong? I am certain I was on top of things, so was
this a fluke? Okay man, Thanks for reading.

- Bruce

>>>>>> >>>>>> MY REPLY:

Okay, so this is a classic test you’re describing here.

We call it the “Tug of War.”

This is when the woman you’re talking to decides to chat
up another guy to make things more challenging for you.
In many cases, she’ll do this when things are going well,
which is what happened here.

Basically, she’s running a jealousy plotline on you. She’s
probably not even consciously aware she’s doing it. In your
case, her comments about looking for you and the fact that
she was somewhat drunk attest to this.

The way to pass the test is not to sit off to the side
like a sad puppy, hoping she will return. You need to
step up and GET HER ATTENTION BACK.

This happened to me just the other night. I step away
for one second, and all of a sudden, some 6′5″ chode is
all over the girl I was talking to. Leaning in close,
blocking me out with his back to me.

I just go in HARD and straight INTERRUPT whatever the
hell he’s saying with, “HEY KELLY, HERE, PUT YOUR HAND
ON THIS RIGHT HERE… SEE IF IT FEELS WEIRD,” like I’m
all concerned. I put her hand on my shoulder and rotate
it. “Is it popping?”

She says no.

I go, “Oh… okay… here, now check it out, does THIS
feel weird?” and take her hand and straight put it on
my groin.

She starts freaking out and laughing. The chode is tooled
off to the side. I have regained her attention.

So, in summary, you can’t idly stand by in these situations.
Go in HARD, be ASSERTIVE and FUNNY, and dominate the
environment.

Nobody’s gonna hand you success on a plate. You have to
TAKE it.

In any case, I hope I’ve helped you out, and I’m crossing
my fingers for you… sounds like you still have a
decent chance to get the girl.

Cheers. Next letter:

*** SUCCESS STORY ***

After I listened to the RSD free audio clip of Tyler
speaking 3 months back I began a transformation from
pussified chode to ripped abs superhero. I’ve also
read jlaix’s old stuff and found his high octane
congruent with the man I wanted to become. I want to
say thanks to both of these guys.

Here’s one of my recent successes:

==

I’m walking down the sidewalk one afternoon in the
Mission to check out this loft apartment. I spot
this redhead up in front of me walking her dog.
She’s cute from behind and I’ve seen her turn heads
so I know she’s got a cute face.

As I’m thinking of a topic to approach with she
gives me one. Her dog poops on the sidewalk.

I roll up and tell her that I’m calling the cops.

She thinks I’m serious and starts to tell me that
she lives nearby and that she’s going to go get
something to clean it up.

I cut her off and tell say “yea right, you’re not
going to clean it up, you’re bad, my dad warned me
about girls like you”.

We hit it off but when I come back from checking out
the apartment I overgame her and her angry friend
and I don’t even bother getting digits.

A month and a half later she sees me on the street.
She pulls me up to her friend’s place for drinks.
She plays a little drunken fencing with her friend
and almost puts an eye out when she falls over a
chair trying to execute a parry.

She’s not very receptive to me but I keep up sexual
tension with humor, teasing and sexual
misinterpretation. I get her number.

About a week later I initiate a text exchange with
“What’s up you little brat? More drunken fencing?”
But don’t try to set up a meet.

A few days later I text her to meet me at the bar
for drinks. She suggests dinner instead. I manage
to make it takeout at her place.

This interaction was tough. She tells me about her
new boyfriend, shows me pictures of him and asks me
what I think of him.

The guy has a tough guy lifestyle but a nice guy
demeanor and I use that to destroy him. She tells me
about one of her male friends and his behavior
around her new guy.

I explain the concept of a nice guy orbiter and
point out evidence of his infatuation with her. This
is me giving value as it paints me as a guy who
understands the dynamics of male/female
interactions.

We watch funny videos on YouTube. This gives us a
bunch of call back humor which helps us keep a great
vibe and builds a strong “our world” frame. Call back
humor was one of the keys to success and I want to
make an effort to use it in all my future
interactions.

I keep up the sexual tension but don’t escalate.

The weekend arrives and I make plans to go to a
fashion show with my new wing. I invite her and we
meet up at her place and I meet her boyfriend.

This guy is totally oblivious to her feelings for
me. We tool him with banter and we eyecode each
other as he shows us some boring pictures
of him and his friends online. He leaves.

Her, my wing and I head to the show at the Green
Room in the War Memorial building in downtown. This
is an amazing venue and an awesome crowd. The three
of us do approaches together with this as our
opener:

“Hey you guys we’ve elected ourselves to the
best/worst dressed list committee. Do you guys have
any nominations?”

When she sees me spit game something flips inside
her. She starts gaming me by telling me she has the
hots for this Chinese dude.

I approach him with her and give her pointers on how
to flirt with him like she’s 12 years old and I’m
her big sister or something. For the first time I
start shooting her interest, but I do it as though
I’m trying to play match maker between her and
Chinese dude.

I leave them alone and chat up people with my wing.
I check in on her and Chinese dude later and she
starts touching me.

About 30 minutes later she’s ready to be pulled. We
head downstairs and wait for a cab back to her
place.

We start making a scene in front of the War Memorial
building. We’re role- playing that she’s a VC and
I’m an American GI and that she’s got me tied up in
the jungle, sexing information out of me. Probably
the most inappropriate event in the War Memorial
building’s history.

We’re screaming at the top of our lungs in front of
elderly couples that are filing out of the opera
house next door. When I take breaks from sucking
face I just stare at hotties that are milling about
and they shoot me longing glances.

Back at her place I make sure that I’m the first to
tongue her down. That was all it took.

We wake up and spend the day in the park just
vibing. This girl is very cool.

Callback humor was key for the reasons mentioned
above. Never dropping sexual tension was also key.

If a girl’s laughing at your jokes and swatting you
when you tease her or when you do sexual
misinterpretation then assume that it’s on, but that
her “sexual chase” switch hasn’t flipped yet, or that
you need to adjust your value, attainability or
compliance.

-JG

>>>>>> >>>>>> MY REPLY:

Man, only in San Francisco would a girl think you
were serious about calling the cops for dog crap.

What I liked about this story is that it illustrates
the fact that it’s OKAY if you don’t have sex with the
woman the first, second or even third night you go out
with her.

The way I see it, by being completely non-needy and
letting things progress at their own pace, you win
by attrition. Eventually, it’s gonna happen.

Besides, you most likely have other girls in the
lineup so to speak, so it really doesn’t matter. This
is the attitude you should cultivate.

One way to get a leg up on cultivating that mentality
would be to participate in one of our life-changing,
IDENTITY CHANGING Bootcamps.

Basically, taking the program is like signing up at one
of the most elite gyms IN THE WORLD, with an entire
cadre of the top trainers in the industry at your beck
and call.

We give you the information and the insider tricks
you’ll need to SMOKE the competition and leave them
with their jaws on the floor as you walk out the door
with her on your arm.

Each day over the course of the weekend, you’ll be
BOMBARDED with mountains of killer insights and “ah hah!”
moments so you can feel confident in your game plan.

As the program goes on, you see things demonstrated
right in front of you so you learn just what’s possible,
in real time, in the field.

Then we fine-tune your game… eliminating all your
weaknesses and correcting all your mistakes. A lot of
the time, it’s just a matter of getting the
fundamentals down: fixing your body language, watching
your tonality and vocal projection, etc.

After that, all the pieces just fall into place.

For a lot of guys, by the end of the workshop they’ve
undergone a COMPLETE TRANSFORMATION, from average and
frustrated to near-supernatural in their ability to
attract beautiful women.

Get the full story… visit our website:

http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/n/bootcamps.asp

And next caller please…

*** QUESTION ***

Hi Jeffy,

I have a question I was hoping you could help me
with.

I’m still at school so I’m not quite at the stage of
going out and picking up randoms at bars. Instead,
I’m kind of stuck with the girls in my school and
more so the girls in my group of friends.

These girls are pretty sound and good looking girls.
But the problem is they see me and my mates as just
friends and very rarely anything happens.

You got any advice, on how to change this and get
them to see me in a different light if you know what
i mean.

What would be the best situation to pull these
chicks? And how do you set it up?

Thanks alot,

Nick

>>>>>> >>>>>> MY REPLY:

First of all, let me just say that you’re already
starting the race ten feet before the starting line
with these women.

They already know you, fairly well I’m assuming, and
as such have already formed some entrenched opinions
about you.

Like I’ve said before, it’s much harder to recover
from a series of bad moves to come back and win a
chess match than it is to just reset the board and
start over.

That said, nothing’s impossible I guess.

How would I approach this one? I’m thinking I would
take a “balls to the wall” approach and just go for
it.

See, I think that’s what’s holding you back with
these chicks.

You feel that you’re already in the friend zone, and
as such you are afraid to make your move because you
now care about how these girls perceive you. As such,
you don’t want to jepoardize the relationship.

If you want any hope at all of turning this around,
that’s a risk you’re going to have to take.

So, if you can get past that hurdle and decide this
is something you really want to do, here’s how you
proceed.

Start doing things to ramp up sexual tension when
you’re around them, but in a fun way so you don’t
come across as creepy or weird.

How to go about this? Well, for starters, you could
experiment with sexual misinterpretation. Whenever
they say ANYTHING that you can misinterpret as
meaning they want you, reframe it as such and bust
them on it.

For example, say she compliments you on ANY little
thing, you say, in a light and upbeat tone, “Cool,
so my place or yours… dork!” and then lightly hit
her on the arm.

What you’re doing here is building sexual tension by
implying she wants to get with you, and then teasing
her about it by calling her a “dork.”

These teases are great for building tension. And
remember… any tension between a guy and a girl is,
by it’s very nature, sexual.

So call her “dork,” “nerd,” “brat,” anything that
you’d use to insult someone in third grade. These are
AWESOME.

At the same time, be sure to escalate physical
contact with her. At ALL TIMES, you should be slowly
but surely escalating physical contact… that means
handshakes, hi-fives, holding hands, fun stuff like
tickling and piggyback rides.

Don’t be afraid to get into her personal space.

Also, deep and penetrating eye contact is crucial.
Make a connection with the girl that nobody else has
with her. Talk about themes of attraction and
intimacy.

I could go on and on, but those are just a couple of
things to get you started. With BALLS and a little
luck, there’s a good chance you can convert these
girls into something more.

The most important change you’re going to have to make,
though, is in your own HEAD.

Things seem difficult only because you THINK they are.

I really think you’d benefit from taking a live program.
One of our Superconferences would be a great, economical
place to start.

Those little tips I gave you above, as powerful as they are, are
just the tip of the iceberg, like LITERALLY 1% of the wealth of
HARDCORE tactics and techniques you get at our Superconferences.

Not only that, but you’ll get a whole new perspective on the
male/female dynamic, WHY conventional models of thinking are
so off-base, and how to approach things in a way that will
liberate you in ways you never imagined.

It’s like being Neo in the film “The Matrix” and taking the red
pill. Once you know the truth, your life will never be the same.

Without this information, you’re just another chode sitting on
“death row” at the club, watching the girls go by.

With it, you’re the mack daddy sauntering through the club with
a hot girl on each arm, and the envy of every guy in the joint.

Our bulletproof system is the final product of years of
fine-tuning, polishing, and perfecting. It’ll increase your
success beyond what you thought imaginable. And it’ll empower
you to approach anyone, anywhere, and break the tension and
build rapport, while sounding like an old pro.

Knowing what to do and when to do it can shave YEARS off of your
learning curve. That’s YEARS of crash & burns you won’t have to
endure, YEARS of going home alone you won’t have to suffer
through.

Why go through all that when you can have the life you want NOW?

If you’re thinking that this is something you want to take care
of TODAY, and not MONTHS or YEARS from now, then check out our
schedule and sign up for your live program right now by
visiting our website:

http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/n/seminars.asp

And good luck with the whole school thing. You’ll get through it.
And even if it doesn’t work out with your “friends,” you should
get out there and start hitting up “randoms.” The bar’s not the
only place, my friend. Women are EVERYWHERE… the taco shop, the
supermarket… EVERYWHERE.

Okay, that about does it for me. There’s a whole nother
crab leg in the fridge with my name on it, it’s time to
get to choppin’.

See you next time.

Sincerely,

Jeffy, Executive Coach
REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS