Love Cookie Coffee Surprises

My cat is fat.

And I don’t care.

When I got back from my extended trip to Europe, I noticed
the cat had put on some extra weight. People were telling me,
“Dude yo your cat is pretty chubby man!”

I would just reply, “No. She is big-fluffed.”

So she’s chubby. Who cares.

I brought a girl home last night and, of course, the cats
come running up to greet us. They are real attention seekers
and like to show off for the myriad of women I bring home.

Which is cool, because, you know, they’re cute and stuff.

So this girl looks at Dulce and says, “Oh, this one is… big!”

I’m like, “Yeah, that’s right. It’s a big fat cat. I don’t
care. She is beautiful. Soooo… let me show you around.”

Begin the tour of the house, culminating at my bedroom. Oh my,
there’s nowhere to sit in this room, here lie on the bed.
Allow me to take your shoes off. Have you seen this movie? Oh,
it’s great.

A short time later, I show her a “magic trick” and we fade
to black.

Whatta life. These people need to mind their own cats, though
and stay outta mine.

Anyways, let’s kick off the newsletter today with some reader
mail!

*** QUESTION ***

You seem like an interesting insightful guy, in fact,
intimidatingly so. No wonder women love you. But one
realization I have come to, is that a guy who is successful
with women, is already successful with men too… so to
speak.

I get the distinct impression that the guys who sign up and
get the most out of your classes are guy’s who
characteristically have lots of male friends (and lots of
female friends), but are just “chodes” when it comes to
sexiness or whatever the term is.

I think it would be great to sign up for your bootcamp, but I
have doubts.

You yourself strike me as a “man’s man”. Contrary to this,
my personality is the quiet, sensitive, loner who beats his
own path. (ironically, the only real friends I do have are my
ex-girlfriends, and my mother.) So every time I read your
newsletter, I cant help but wonder in my mind …

“I wonder if he can just help me relate to people, and groups
better.”

Because in all honesty, in most social interactions,
particularly with the guys, I feel like a “chode.” Either I
am boring them, or they are boring me. I feel like the
boring/bored guy.

Like you, I too dont have time, energy, or inclination to
talk gossip, TV shows, TV sets, video games, and other
mundanities, but there is an egotistical part of me that
would like to just plow into a group everytime and do a
“Jeffy”.

But it really takes alot of imagination, energy, and
motivation to do that. And the times I have done that from
an inspired place, I ended up offending people, freaking
them out, coming across as overly silly and goofy and
overbearing (come to think of it, the hot females actually
digged it), but in the end it only led to my own self doubt
and social anxiety.

I’m a very sensitive fellow, regrettably..

Were you born with natural confidence?

Can you divulge what your particular sticking point was
before you attained success?

I realize it’s an intrusive question, but it would give me a
better idea of where you are coming from.

Thanks
TJ

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

Thanks for the compliments, man, but I find it laughable that
you think I’m some kind of he-man in the tradition of Stone
Cold Steve Austin or something. I’m just a skinny white boy
with a big mouth.

That said, I succeed because I refuse to accept anything less
from myself.

Your letter is FULL of EXCUSES.

That’s not me, I’m not (blank) enough, I’m too (blank), etc.

This reminds me of something Tyler said in a previous newsletter,
and I’d like to reprint that here for your perusal:

“The other day I met a guy who had a million excuses for why he
couldn’t have success with women.

He didn’t have a girlfriend, and hadn’t been laid in months. It
was just sad.

I said to him, “This stuff isn’t that hard to learn. It’s
probably easier than a lot of stuff that you already know.” And
of course, he had a million excuses.

“I’m too old and I’ll never match guys who have better looks
than me. And guys with height have the advantage.”

I had to laugh at this, because he was so blatantly blind to
the fact that he simply lacked the basic skills to attract a
woman.

So I said to him, “Alright, let’s go over and talk to those
people over there. If you can get a good conversation going
with them where they’re laughing and interested to get to know
you, then I’ll believe that all the excuses you’re giving me are
legit and that you’re just a hopeless case.”

I mean, logically, that makes sense. If the guy can do
everything that EVEN the good looking guys HAVE to do too, and
he still can’t get a girl, then MAYBE he might be onto
something.

But of course, he couldn’t do it.

I’m watching him try to work up the nerve, and I’m thinking to
myself, “You’re too jittery, you’re not sure of yourself, your
conversation is boring, and your body language SUCKS… AND YOU
THINK THAT IT’S YOUR LOOKS AND HEIGHT AND AGE?!?!”

All of the things that were holding him back were WITHIN HIS
CONTROL.

But he blamed his LOOKS, HEIGHT, and OLD AGE…

Things that are OUTSIDE OF HIS CONTROL and that gave him the
excuse to continue on being a grumpy victim.

What he didn’t understand, was that with just a few tweaks on
those fundamental areas, we could have girls taking notice of
him.

And with the potent stuff that I’d teach him beyond the basic
stuff, his problems would be solved.

I tell him this, and remind him that I’m not exactly the world’s
hottest or tallest guy either…

And of course, to that he says “Well it’s your JOB to be good at
this stuff. I don’t have the TIME to put into it that you do.
I have a LIFE…”

But what he’s not realizing is that you don’t have to be a
world class pickup master to get a hot girlfriend or a date.

And what’s more, he’s investing more time into thinking about
how much it sucks not to have a girl in his life than he would
be if he just went out a few nights a week and got experience
under his belt!

Going out and working on your social skills is a part of a
balanced life! It’s like going to the gym or eating properly.

It’s one of those proactive habits that you keep up, because
it’s fun and because it generates all sorts of positive
outcomes in your life in OTHER AREAS!”

In other words, you need to STEP UP and take responsibility
for your success or failure in this area, and drop all these
damn excuses.

But you knew that, didn’t you?

Anyways, thanks for writing in, and I hope you really think
about what’s been said here.

Your sex life depends on it.

Next caller.

*** SUCCESS STORY ***

Hey man,

I think most people dont realise that you cant just turn on
the flair when you want to pull. Attracting great women
requires you to become a great person yourself.

It’s like a way of living, and cocky-funny definitely comes
into it, however I think the most important aspect is to have
the view that there is an abundance of girls so that you never
become too focused on one, even if you do love her. Becoming
obsessed with one girl is the road to a failed relationship.

I have always been naturally able to get girls, for reasons I
never understood until I read your letters. I am average
height and dont have a muscle on my body, but I am believe
style and attitude are my prime attributes.

My advice to anyone is to treat her like you dont need her,
tease her and wind her up and she will want you like she has
never wanted anything before.

However I have a problem, many people may not consider this
to be a problem, but it is wearing me out. Girls are
constantly falling in love with me.

I know you will say ’spend less time with them’ or ‘dont
treat them like a girlfriend’ but some of my closest friends
are girls, and some have developed such powerful feelings for
me that it has caused the collapse of our friendship.

Without blowing my own trumpet, I have become so damn
good at this that it has taken over me. It’s starting to feel
like the dark side or something, it’s become impossible for
me to be just friends with anyone of the opposite sex because
they come onto me.

Many people may think ‘How is this a problem?!’

But it is to me, I dont jut like women for sex, I find them
more stimulating and interesting than men most of the time.

I can accept that this is a high quality problem, but I am
only 20 and lack the experience to deal with this situation.

Jay, England

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

Man, I wish I could blow my own trumpet. I’d never leave the
house. There’d be no need for “game” ever again!

Seriously though, I can definitely relate to the comment
about the “dark side,” and this is something that everyone
who gets really good at this stuff will inevitably have to
deal with.

In fact, I only recently came to grips with it myself.

The secret lies in setting clear expectations from the get go
and not allowing yourself to violate them under any circumstances.

Look, it takes two to tango. Can you seriously say that you
weren’t leading these women on in any way, shape or form?

When you first get good at these skills, it’s easy to get
carried away by the power and do irresponsible things.

I simply cannot believe that you have zero culpability in the
collapse of these friendships. I’ve been there, and in my
experience there was always something I could have done to
prevent that from happening.

I think what needs to happen here is a simple process of maturing
into the game. You shouldn’t necessarily worry so much about
this problem, because as you progress in your development, you
will naturally discover strategies for dealing with this
kind of scenario that work FOR YOU.

Typically, these will involve pre-emptive changes in your
approach and attitude to the friendships. You need to be
laser-like in determining your intent with a particular
woman from the VERY BEGINNING, and stay the course.

Don’t allow yourself to deviate from that in the slightest, or
you’re going to continue to have these problems.

That said, they are in fact “high quality problems,” and I’m
sure you’ll live. Haaa.

And hey, who’s to say that you can’t re-establish the old
friendships? NOBODY. If you truly valued them in the first
place, swallow your pride and take the first step to
re-connect with these girls. Be honest and heartfelt, telling
them you value their friendship and want to keep that alive.

It sounds kind of cheesy, but if your intent is true, then
there should be no problem. Remember the PAST does NOT equal
the FUTURE.

I know it sounds horrible, but you too can experience
high-quality problems such as these, should you choose to do so.

Trust me, they’re certainly less painful than “low-quality
problems.”

At the RSD Bootcamps, we provide you with MOUNTAINS of
field-tested, rock-solid tactics, killer techniques, and
insider secrets that will catapult your game into the
stratosphere!

In fact, many students report that it’s so much information,
they can’t process it all until WEEKS after the program. This
isn’t some chode experience where we say, “Just think
positive!”

THIS IS HARD CORE VALUE FOR YOUR DOLLAR.

Bar none, this is the best, fastest way to get the love life
you’ve always wanted. Go ahead… check out our competitors, we
WANT you to. You’ll find that there is simply no one else
providing this kind of intensely personalized, in-field
experience in the market today.

Listen. You owe it to yourself to do this. This is your
HAPPINESS we’re talking about here. Sign up for your
Bootcamp TODAY by visiting our site:

http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/n/bootcamps.asp

You’ll be glad you did.

Next question.

*** QUESTION ***

How’s it goin Jeffy,

Ever since I found your teachings, it’s helped me dramatically
work my game on girls. Even lead me into a couple of “short”
relationships.

But all this lasted about 3 months then slowly started fading
away…. One reason was because I found a girl that I got
STUCK TO.

She’s so good to me, gives me massages after sex and even buys
me things out of the blue… It’s ridiculous-yet awesome. But
all this is making me want her more and stoping me from being
motivated to find other women when deep down I know i really
want to.

When we’re out together I find gorgeous women everywhere and
all I’m thinking when sitting with my girl is what I COULD be
saying to that beauty in the corner.

I’ve even gained a couple of pounds with this chick from
going out to dinner so dam much which shes usually paying
for.

The thing is I don’t want to get rid of her or what she does
for me but at the same time find other women and not feel
GUILTY! I never did before because I never gave a care about
these other girls I’ve slept with.

But now I’m at the point that all I want to do on the
weekends is go over her house and be surprised with starbucks,
cookies and a DVD we can watch together.

HELP!

P.S.- I know once you help me out with that I’ll need some
help getting back into this game its been about a month or so
sence I’ve givin some good game…. but I feel as if she’s
given me some confidence since doing this

thnx guys

-Brandon NYC

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

Okay, conflicted much?

Here’s my take on the whole thing:

Men always want what they DON’T have.

Guy is in a relationship? He thinks it sucks, and sees
hotties everywhere he could game up.

Guy is NOT in a relationship? He longs for connection and is
always on the lookout for “the one.”

Guys always think the grass is greener on the other side.

I’ve been on both sides EXTENSIVELY, yo. And I’m here to report
back:

It’s not greener over there. It just looks like it. It’s an
optical illusion, dude.

I think the solution for most guys is a healthy BALANCE. That
means spending periods where you play the field, and periods
where you are in relationships. It’s that simple.

Right now, for example, I’m in a relationship and I don’t
feel the need to go out and game. On program I do the old
catch-and-release, and I’m totally happy with that…

…for NOW.

In the future, I’m sure that will change. But right now, I’ve
been traveling a lot, and having all these wild adventures,
and frankly just kind of want to settle down for a bit and
catch my breath.

That’s what’s going on NOW, and I’m satisfied by this.

I’ve HAD enough stripper threesomes to last me a lifetime. I
don’t feel the NEED to do that anymore.

…at least not NOW.

Now, with your situation, you’re asking me to tell you what is
best for YOU. I can’t do that. Only YOU can.

BUT, I see between the lines and I think I know what you
really want deep down here.

Sure, you’re really digging this girl and all of her magical
love cookie coffee surprises. But you feel that you have more
work to do to develop you skill set.

Why do I say this? Look:

” P.S.- I know once you help me out with that I’ll need some
help getting back into this game…”

I mean, you answer your own question right here. You “know”
what you are going to do already.

So, just rip that band-aid off and spare this girl any more
pain than is absolutely necessary. You’re not doing her, or
yourself any favors by plodding along in a relationship you
don’t want to be in deep down.

Hear me?

Cool.

Anyway, I’m gonna wrap things up here. Thanks to Tyler for
taking the time out of his busy schedule to write up that
little love note for us in response to TJ’s question.

If you liked that, then you’ll love the Superconference. It’s
TWO FULL DAYS of classroom seminar with Tyler, myself, and the
RSD Team of Executive Dating Coaches. You’ll have total access
to the man widely recognized as, bar none, the most analytical
and intelligent mind in the field of social dynamics today.

We break it all down for you in easy-to-understand terms,
LIVE, and answers all of your burning questions.

To learn more, check out our site:

http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/n/transformation.asp

Suh-WEET! Now, if you’ll allow me, I’m going to get out the
brushes and groom my fat frickin cat.

Talk to you soon. Keep it fly for me.

Sincerely,

Jeffy, Executive Coach
REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS