When someone tells you something do you try to “one up” them? In other words do you try to come up with something better to say that makes you feel and look better to them? I was the king of this. In fact, I would interrupt someone to do it. I like talking so much that I still sometimes find myself tempted to do it.
There’s something magical that happens, a sense of calm that comes over you, when you cease needing all the attention directed towards yourself and instead allow other people to have it.
Your need for excessive attention is that ego-centered part of you that says, “Look at me. I’m special. My story is more interesting than yours.” It’s that voice inside of you that may not come right out and say it, but wants to believe that, “my accomplishments are slightly more important than yours.” The ego is the part of you that wants to be seen, heard, respected, and considered special; often at the expense of someone else. It’s the part of you that interrupts someone else’s story, or impatiently waits it’s turn to speak so that you can bring the conversation and attention back to yourself. To varying degrees, most people are guilty of this behavior and it creates distance between them and the other participant.
What to do?
The next time someone tells you a story or shares an accomplishment with you, notice your tendency to say something about yourself in response.
Although it’s a difficult habit to break, it’s not only enjoyable but also actually peaceful to have the quiet confidence to be able to surrender your need for attention and instead share in the excitement of someone else’s story. Rather than jumping right in and saying, “Once I did the same thing” or Guess what I did today?” bite your tongue and notice what happens. Just say, “That’s great,” or “Congratulations,” and leave it at that. The person you’re speaking to will have so much more fun and, because you’re “present,” because you’re listening so carefully, they won’t feel in competition with you. The result will be that the person will feel more relaxed around you, allowing them to be even more confident and interesting. You’ll feel more relaxed because you won’t be on the edge of your seat, waiting your turn.
When you surrender your need to get all the credit, the attention you used to need from other people is replaced by a quiet inner confidence that is derived from letting others have it.
Try it and let me know what happens!
***Podcast & Forum***
Everybody’s talking about my monthly Podcast and online community forum. This thing rocks! Click on the link below right now for more information. (clicking on this link does not obligate you in any way)
http://www.attracthotterwomen.com/
***Monaco Group Coaching***
I’ve put together a very unique coaching experience in Monaco on June 5-8.
This is super high-end and revolves around one of the most prestigious charity ball weekends in the World; drawing royalty, celebrities and int’l business leaders from many different genres. I will only accept 10 guys into this program. Contact me ASAP at brent@absolutepowerdating.com for details and to see if you qualify.
***Dallas Group Coaching***
Review
Amazing. Mind blowing, Fantastic. Worth every penny. Cancel your vacation and save up even if takes a year, better than one year and one day.
You can be on the forum and listen to podcasts, but getting out with Brent is the only way to push it to the next level. I’d also highly recommend getting a buddy on here and doing the weekend with them. Reinforcement and accountability is key. It also helps to have someone to talk with.
We invented a new thing: Champagne Shopping. I think Brent wants to give everyone the 411 on it, but it is amazing.
We went out at night, and had champagne parties late night. Got every question we wanted to answered and realized that anything is possible. Rome wasn’t created in a day, so you have to be patient. But seeing the possibilities you know that is all a matter of time, if you just do it.
Another helpful tip is that we are just going out and meeting everyone, everywhere we go. Not about women at all. We are finding though that we are starting to know everyone and people are coming back up to us. In fact, last weekend, a woman we met said her friend saw us out and we never even met her friend! We went to one place this weekend (after Brent), and had plans to go to 2-3 others. Got to the place at 9pm and when we looked up it is 1am and we were talking the entire time and met 20 people and same thing happened on Friday night too.
Again, the podcasts and forum are great places to start, but ultimately you need to go out with Brent. I know objections are cost, but just find a way. Plan it a year out. I guarantee you that you will come back and say why didn’t I do it sooner. It isn’t a hobby, but a lifestyle.
JT
I also participated in the Dallas weekend. Let me tell you, I could recite all the concepts, principles, theories, etc., and though it established a strong foundation, it didn’t mean a thing until I got out there with Brent and experienced the lifestyle directly for myself. Once you get over your social anxiety and get over being attached to outcomes, it’s all so easy. All women no matter how beautiful become regular people. You create the party wherever you go, and everyone wants to be a part of it. The world suddenly becomes your playground.
I concur with JT on having a buddy with you while you coach. We keep each other on track, keep our momentum going, and keep building each other up. It’s been a little over a week since Brent left town, and we continue to meet a ton of people, including many beautiful women, as well as befriend the staff wherever we go. It’s so easy to meet women now. They look at us, we walk over and say hi, and they’re ecstatic that we came to talk to them.
Life is great!
RC
***Sydney Group Coaching***
Review
It’s hard to summarize the best weekend of my life and put down on paper but I’ll give it my best shot.
Brent is a social genius. He is so friendly and charismatic that people are just drawn to him.
I spent the entire weekend with Brent and I can honestly say it’s the best investment I have ever made.
I’ve heard all about it in the stories and in the podcasts….but it’s just not the same as witnessing it in person.
Brent’s energy is contagious. Watching him in action on the first night was the most incredible thing I have ever seen. Things weren’t really clicking for my on the first night, but it was amazing watching Brent and seeing what’s actually possible.
On day 2 I had quite a bit of information jumping around in my head. Luckily we took a 1 hr break to let it all sink in before we went out for the night.
When we reconvened it was show time. I don’t know how but my energy level was right on. I met and attracted so many girls that I lost count.
All of that information that he told me throughout the day really hit home and I was on fire. It really is all about your energy!!!
We ended up having McDonalds champagne after party in Brent’s hotel room. I’ve never seen anything like it!
After not a lot of sleep we met up on the 3rd day and once again Brent was super friendly and super helpful. I took in so much information this day and by late afternoon that I was feeling even better than I did the night before. Brent also told me that I was fine tuning my overall game …I did this without realizing.
Once again that night was total chaos. We turned the most exclusive high-class bar in Sydney into what looked like a private party just for us. It was awesome.
Just being around Brent gives you this amazing energy that is just irresistible to women.
If you guys have read the newsletters and listened to the podcasts and things aren’t quite clicking…do yourself a favor and do live coaching with Brent.
I had 4 phone calls with Brent before I met him in person…this was a huge benefit and I definitely recommend doing some phone coaching before meeting up.
With regards to meeting up with Brent…I don’t think 1 night is enough.
2 or 3 nights will let things sink in much better and I guarantee it will change your life
Thanks to Brent and the other guys on the bootcamp for such a fantastic weekend.
SJ
***Group Coaching In Other Cities***
If you’d like to suggest a particular city or country please e-mail your request to brent@absolutepowerdating.com ASAP.
***High-End Coaching***
In regards to the $100,000 and $1,000,000 coaching programs, please contact me via e-mail at brent@absolutepowerdating.com for more information. SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY!
***Regular Coaching (1-on-1)***
If you want to live this life right now you can start by signing up for my coaching program. Whether you start on the phone or in person, start now!
Click on the link below right now for more information and to sign up for 1-on-1 coaching packages.
(clicking on this link does not obligate you in any way)
http://www.absolutepowerdating.com/coaching.html
***Myspace and Facebook Profiles***
http://www.myspace.com/absolutepowerdating
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