Learning to Trust Your Intuition

I’ve been back in San Francisco for some time now, and I’m
absolutely loving it.

Which is strange.

See, I’ve lived in this city for twelve years, and before I
left for Spain I was beginning to get a little disillusioned
with it all.

The self-important hippies. The cliques of hipster retards on
their track bikes. The rampant drug use. The DRAMA.

Being out of the country gave me some perspective, though.
Some much-needed perspective.

What I’ve come to realize is that, ultimately, the world is
what you think it is.

Certainly, San Francisco is seething with granola freaks, bad
haircuts and blow, but is that all there is to it?

No way Jose!

Since I’ve been back, I’ve really begun to appreciate anew the
beauty that this city has to offer. I make it a priority to
go out and enjoy the unique culture and scenery that can only
be found here.

I’ll go to the Japanese Tea Gardens in Golden Gate Park and
just chill. I’ll go to Coit Tower and look out over the
Bay. I’ll stop in and really enjoy a chocolate brandy at
Tosca in North Beach. Or the salt-and-pepper squid at Yuet Lee
in Chinatown.

I’m lovin’ it.

The thing I want to get across here is that, again, THE WORLD
IS WHAT YOU THINK IT IS. Whatever you continually focus on will
add up to the sum of your life experience.

Think about it.

…

Okay, enough thinking, as we all know how much I hate that.

I know what you came for… THE GAME.

With that in mind, I’ve selected some choice letters from the
mailbag. Here we go…

*** QUESTION ***

I have a situation, needing for advice. My friend and I was
were chilling at the coffee shop when I saw this pair of
women.

Although looked very approachable, but they were in the middle
of something, like doing lessons or other serious task. Maybe
it’s just my own fear kicking, but that was the reason why I
kept postponing the approach. I thought I would wait at
least until they put down the pen and start talking to each
other.

But it never came. After 15 minutes, they went out and gone.
I’m left with a heavy grunts and rage to myself. Why the hell
can’t I move my lazy legs there and open like usual.

I’m very mad and trapped in an extremely low frame. It’s like
I want to delete all of my knowledge about inner game,
socializing etc. and just be clueless newbie who don’t know
anything about the game.

I don’t like what I’m feeling now. This is quite rare to
happen, but I can trace one or two similar events happening
in the past where I was hanging with this pathetic frame for
days.

What should I do to stay away from this emotional breakdown
IF one day I have this approach anxiety or miss the approach
for any other external reasons?

Thanks,
LH at Boston

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

Good question, as this is something even experienced guys
deal with from time to time.

Yep, that’s right. Even I get a twinge of approach anxiety
now and then. Just a hint of it. The best thing to do is
nip it in the bud before it ever gets the chance to take
hold.

First of all, when I go out, I make up my mind that no matter
what happens, I’m out there to have fun, and to bring that energy
to every set I approach.

Set yourself up to WIN, no matter what the outcome.

Having fun is paramount to the process. If I ever start to get any
sort of approach anxiety, I downplay it immediately. I’m just out
there having fun. I mean, I could be in IRAQ getting SHOT AT.
Instead, I’m out at the club, having some drinks and talking to
some girls. No big deal.

Now, this depression you’re talking about, well that’s
something I’m intimately familiar with myself.

You have a bad approach, or a failure to approach in this case,
and all of a sudden, your whole game is called into question.

It’s dangerous to think like this because it can become a
downward spiral.

It goes from, “Wow that was a bad approach,” to “I can’t
approach at all tonight,” to “I never really could approach
anyway,” to “My game sucks,” to “I’M A HORRIBLE PERSON.”

You can lose sight of the big picture and you start to
get myopic. You can only focus on the moment. When you
have a success, you´re on the top of the world. Two days
later, you´re thinking you suck.

Don´t concern yourself with ups and downs. Everyone has
these. It´s easy to get into the mindset of “I´m only as
good as my last pickup,” which can be incredibly
destructive.

That´s getting your validation from external sources. You
want to have a deep appreciation for you intrinsic value,
irrespective of the changing tides.

This attitude will make all the difference. Again,
everyone has these ups and downs. Whether they seem like
soaring PEAKS and dark VALLEYS, or gentle, rolling hills
all depends on your attitude.

Keep that in mind the next time you´re rushing to judgement
on your game.

Thanks for writing. Next caller!

*** SUCCESS STORY ***

Hey Jeffy,

At 42, after 18 years of marriage, the bulk of my adult
life, my wife filed for divorce. Like most Silicon Valley
geeks, I spent my youth studying and avoiding social events.
So now, cut loose and kicked to the curb I had no skill and
nowhere to start.

Worse still, time and working 24/7 had left me overweight
and balding. I was like an old tame dog set loose to hunt
with Arctic wolves and I kept looking for my dog bowl and
wondering why I was hungry.

Then I found some promotional material about a company
Real Social Dynamics. They offered several levels of program
but the one that caught my eye was the Bootcamp individualized
instruction and critique.

I had a million reasons not to sign up. What pushed me over
the edge to sign up was my wife informed me she was going
to Costa Rica with her new boyfriend!

So I had taken the red pill and jumped headfirst into the
rabbit hole. What was apparent was that a lot of the barriers
of success are in one’s own head and that the experience
should be reframed in the same way one thinks about any
other kind of game. One’s skill in mastery is dependent upon
one playing, rather than watching or preparing for the game.

Despite my worries, the instructors didn’t try to make me
into a clone but rather concentrated on pushing and
challenging me along with healthy doses of critique and
praise. I could feel my spirits rise with their energy level.

The instructors were unflagging in their encouragement and
zeal throwing us back in time after time and helping us
when we stalled or got into trouble.

As I was driving home the whole weekend seemed like one intense
dream. I felt like I had been fed with a fire hose. The
change was subtle, but I now see opportunities where I once
saw fear-laden sitations I would avoid.

All in all I would recommend your company to others and I
will keep tabs on the forthcoming book, seminars and other.

Best of luck,

John M.

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

Thank you John.

It just goes to show, you can come to this stuff at any
stage in your life and still benefit.

Regardless of your age, background or nationality, if you want
to see massive improvements in your love life, our programs
can help.

That’s because the underlying principles are universal to
human interactions.

We’ve spent years trying every conceivable angle and approach
until we discovered what works, consistently, time and time
again.

The most comprehensive, life-changing, powerful Bootcamp
program ever created is available RIGHT NOW and you can sign
up by following the link below.

http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/n/bootcamps.asp

Cool, let’s move on to the next letter.

*** QUESTION ***

Jeffy

I really appreciate the weekly newsletters and love the
honest and friendly tones it is written in. It actually feels
like a brother from half way around the world is taking their
time out to give me advice.

While reading a recent newsletter, the milfLord one, one of
your comments really hit home and I would love to hear a
little more about it.

“I know that smacks of excuses, but after this long in the
game you learn to trust your intuition.”

A little about myself so you can see where I am coming from.
I am from the UK and have been into this stuff since last
November.

I quickly picked up some canned material with some success
and have moved to a more natural game. Most of my time has
been spent in field so I know how to create attraction and
get rapport quite quickly and have done this with a few small
twicks of my “old game.”

I was a super social guy, just not sexual.

My problem is I constantly say that women are not good enough
for me or fail to close for some other reason/excuse. I
thought I had tight inner game, but, after reading your
newsletter I am thinking it over.

I suppose my question is “How do I ignore my brain when it
over rides my game with excuses and listen to my balls more?”

Any pointers would be gladly received

Tallerguy UK

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

Well, first off, consider that maybe your brain is RIGHT.

Maybe these women really AREN’T good enough!

After all, when I first got into the game, I basically was
out to get as much play as I possibly could. Which made perfect
sense in the context of trying to learn the skillset, but
which frequently yielded some disastrous consequences.

I’d get headcases and freaks who would steal from me, smash
my car, form bizarre conspiracy groups to torment me, and so
on and so forth.

So yeah, screening can be pretty important.

However, it seems to me that your intuition is telling you
that these are merely excuses to avoid going sexual and thereby
avoiding potential rejection.

In my experience, if you’re having an intuition like this, it’s
probably got at least SOME basis in reality. You’re making
excuses and you know it.

There’s no fancy ultimate ninja spin move answer to this. It’s
staring you right in the face.

How do you override your brain?

WITH YOUR BRAIN.

Acknowledge the fact that you’re being a chode, resolve to
sack up, and TAKE CHARGE.

This happened to me just the other night, in fact.

I was in bed with a girl and was just sort of intermittently
making out with her, but then I’d pull back.

Logically, I was thinking, I’m tired, I just want to watch
this movie, etc. etc.

Deep down, I knew I was being a chode. In my mind, I faced
the facts and resolved to step up. “ENOUGH. GO.”

Boom. That was all it took.

Step up, face your fear and overcome it. Remember, fear is
simply your mind telling you there’s an imminent situation that
needs to be prepared for. Acknowledge this, and acknowledge that
you ARE, in fact, prepared to handle it regardless of how she
responds when you go to escalate.

You’re as ready as you’ll ever be. Take action.

Thanks for writing in.

Speaking of taking action, NOW IS THE TIME to join
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All right there, buddy, that’s gonna be all for today. It’s
time for me to go out and explore the wonder that is the
San Francisco Bay Area. On today’s agenda is a trip down to
Stanford to check out the Rodin Sculpture Garden, which has
a full-size cast of his masterpiece, “The Gates of Hell.”

Talk to you soon.

Sincerely,

Jeffy, Executive Coach
REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS