Eliminate Your Disempowering Frames

A day in the life of Jlaix.

I wake up. There is a cat lying on my face. There is a girl
I barely know pressed up against me. There’s ANOTHER cat
trying to push me off the side of the bed.

THIS IS *MY* BED, PEOPLE!

So why do I feel like I’m being marginalized? Ack.

I need a bigger bed. A king won’t do. Do they make an
EMPEROR?

Anyway, I’m feeling expansive, so I cook the chick breakfast
and give her a ride home.

Then I get back to my place and glance at the computer. Damn.
I need to do some work.

It’s time to write.

Us writers are a quirky bunch, and I’m no exception. Like a
professional athlete who has to put on his lucky socks, to
write I need to have on my WRITING CLOTHES.

I just don’t feel like a writer unless I have on my writing
clothes.

So I grab them out of their special drawer and throw them on:

The ripped up Japanese jeans, made in Australia from French
denim (don’t ask).

The “wife-beater” shirt.

The Hawaiian shirt on top.

Boom. Now I’m ready. Ready to rock you like a hurricane.

So let’s do it.

*** QUESTION ***

Hey Jlaix.

I’ve been into all of the sorts of methods, ideas, and
concepts of game that have been piling out recently, but, to
tell ya the truth, I’ve made a lot more progress practicing
the broader context of game.

The universal rules that just ARE.

Some newsletters ago you mentioned how routines don’t have
any soul and people have to put the soul into them. I didn’t
think anyone actually understood that concept fully until you
mentioned that. I’ve been pretty anti-routine ever since I
got into this, but I’m anti everything if there’s no
creativity and soul in it.

My first wingman however always looked into the logic of the
routine and couldn’t find the emotion and energy in them that
can be thrown just to use as a social crutch to guide on with.

I’ve heard a lot of really chodey ideas on these sorts but
recently things have been clicking for me by using the broad
concepts and messing with them and keeping them in the back
of my head so when my subconscious notices that idea/whatever
happening it comes into my brain as TRUTH and it’s understood.

It’s wonderful, I love brains. Metaphorically and literally
speaking.

But anyways, I’m a stump in my game. Since I never really
grew up with much physical contact from girls, I have a
really awkward time with my johnson jumping out at the wrong
moments.

Should I hide the excitement that comes from just barely
touching them or full on let the girls know what’s up?

I’ve been going on a few adventures with gals around here
just after scoring numbers and have had them grabbing me
FIRST. It’s fantastic, but turns me on biologically and I’m
not sure where to throw that in on context or anything.

With that, how else could I use it to my advantage? I’m
always looking for ways to improve and help my game out.

Keep up the good work!

-Rob the throb!

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

Oh boy. This is a new one for me. Awesome!

First off, let me say that you are the first zombie with a
hard on to ever write me.

“BRAINS!!!”

ba-dum-dum!

Thank you, thank you… I’ll be here all week.

But seriously, I can see how this would be a perplexing
dilemma. You are obviously aroused… should you attempt to
conceal it or not?

I’m gonna go with NOT, provided it’s going WELL. (If it’s not
going well, DO NOT do what I’m about to suggest, lest you
end up slapped, or worse.)

Ultimately, what this is, is a massive QUALIFICATION of the
girl. It’s kind of strange, but that’s what it is. Let me
explain.

Typically, when you qualify a girl, you’re giving her a
reason that you want her, other than her body. You’re making
her understand that while, yes, you find her beautiful,
you are interested in her for MORE than that.

The basic procedure looks something like this:

1. Tell her what makes her unique,

2. Contrast that with everyone else,

3. Explore that further by asking questions.

As I said, typically it doesn’t involve her physical appearance,
BUT this is a special case.

What you’re doing here is showing her that she’s SO unbelievably
hot that you literally CANNOT control yourself. THAT is what
is unique about her… she is so incredibly stunning in every
way that it is actually causing you to get an erection right
there in the club/bar/wherever.

Again, on the surface this would seem to contradict the very
definition of qualifying, but it’s so extreme that it works.

I’ve done this myself in the past when something like this
occurred: I’d say, “Oh my god, you’re making me feel weird…
I feel so emotional… look” and then I’d grab her hand and
PLACE IT ON MY JOCK so she could “see for herself.”

This does several things.

First, it’s so balls-to-the-wall over the top, that it tells
her you literally don’t give a damn about the outcome.
It’s supremely non-needy.

Second, if the interaction is going well, it IS going to get
her turned on to some degree. Feeling that zombie wood is
going to get her mind moving in a certain direction, like it
or not.

So yeah, there’s nothing to hide man. In fact, I envy you.

Run with it, man. Run with it.

Cool, next caller:

*** SUCCESS STORY ***

Hey what up Jeffy…

Look man, I wanted thank you, Christophe, Robin, and Papa for
the the bootcamp last weekend.

The one thing you guys really helped me with was my fear…
Fear has controled my social life for years… I can say that
this year I made a commitment to myself to get this part of my
life handled.

I thought i had a a hold on it but you guys made it so that I’ve
chained down that giant t-rex of emotion that I let hold me back
for so long… Damn man I feel f*cking great! This really was
the best experience of My life!

Hopefully I’ll see you around!

Late
Big D

P.S. Grats on the milf man!

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

Yes. The MILFlord has returned. Gotta love those MILFs.

It’s great that you’ve got the T-Rex chained down. The next step
is to shoot it in the head with an AK-47 so it never returns to
mess with you. That’s where the fieldwork comes in.

Also, it’s clear to me that you’re a guy who is TRULY
committed to learning this stuff, as opposed to half-heartedly
poking around at it.

That’s the difference between the guy who studies and studies
and gets nowhere, and the guy who really makes big improvements
and changes his life. The dedication.

Let’s face it, when you’re trying to learn any new skill, there
is a curve. At the bottom of the curve, it can get rather
frustrating.

I remember trying to learn to play the guitar. It was ridiculous.
I just couldn’t UNDERSTAND how the frets and the strings and
the chords and everything came together to produce MUSIC. It
seemed like a totally confusing MESS.

But still, I just sat there, picking around at it, and got
even more frustrated.

Then I bought a book, and read up on the theory and the chords,
etc. But I still wasn’t getting it.

Finally, I broke down and went to a teacher, because I was sick
of feeling like an idiot trying to get this stuff.

With a live person there to guide me and correct my mistakes
in real time, I started making progress FAST.

It’s the same with this particular skill.

You can do what I did, which was hunt and peck in the dark
looking for what worked and what didn’t. I spent hundreds and
hundreds of hours in the field, crashing and burning, gradually
learning the ropes. School of hard knocks indeed.

Or, you can read our newsletters. I pack these things with
content that you can actually apply in the field, it’s good
stuff. It’s not all marketing hype, I want you guys to walk
away from this with some actual KNOWLEDGE, know what I’m
saying?

But reading can only take you so far, I’m sure you’d agree.

Maybe it’s time for YOU to take a bootcamp. You’ll pole-vault
your game to new heights, very rapidly. The powerful teachings
of the Executive Coaches combined with hardcore feedback and
critique IN THE FIELD all add up to an experience that’s the
equivalent of MONTHS in the field by yourself.

Life is short, you know that. Stop messing around. Step up
to the plate and sign up for your Bootcamp TODAY by clicking
here:

http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/n/bootcamps.asp

Big D did, and he’s reaping the benefits as we speak… and
his shoes fit now. Word up.

Cool, let’s see what else we’ve got today:

*** QUESTION ***

Hey Jeff!

Before I ask any questions I should compliment you on your
newsletter, it’s so good!

OK so I read in one of your newsletters that to help you get
into STATE you drink? I do that all the time, actually I
DEPEND on it, a lot!

I get a little juiced or something and then, i’m never
nervous or hesitant and become a funny exciting person (well
more than I normally am) but…

I REALLY REALLY suck at picking up without it, like in
another letter you talked about using warm ups or something?
Can u explain that a bit?

Like how do you choose a “warm up” or what should you plan to
accomplish?

I really hope if I can change that then I can interact better
outside of social places, like just anywhere.

Save me JLAIX!!!
Neil from Toronto

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

Thanks for the compliment, I appreciate it.

That said, I no longer drink when I’m out at the club.

MANY guys use alcohol as a crutch to lower their inhibitions
and get themselves to approach while in the club. I used
to be one of the biggest culprits out there when it came
to this. The problem was, I would drink, get into state
for a brief period, then crash and basically become
useless.

What I had to do was change my beliefs. You’re going to have
to do this as well.

The old belief: I need alcohol to get into state.

Look how negative your beliefs are: “I REALLY REALLY SUCK” is
not an affirmation that’s helping you in any way, man.

Look. I was at a point where alcohol was inextricably intertwined
with my social identity… “jlaix the hard-drinking SOB
maniac etc.” and as such it was very difficult to stop. I was
convinced I couldn’t get into state without it.

But what happened was, yeah, I’d get into state, then be all
awesome for 30 minutes, then crap out get tired and lose
focus, and just want to leave, or worse, I’d “go over the
falls” and act belligerent and psychotic.

What did it for me was proving to myself that I could get
into state without it. I’d go out and say, “No beer until I
get into state.”

Then, once I got into state, I’d find that I didn’t even CARE
about the beer anymore.

Additionally, after all this time in the gym, I didn’t want
that to go to waste on some “empty carbo-calorie nightmare”

Finally, I drink “faux cocktails” to fool my mind into
thinking I’m drinking. My fave is the TONIC AND LIME… it
tastes almost like a gin and tonic. I’ve even given it to
drunk girls to taste and they think it’s the real thing.

Fools you physiologically, having the drink in the hand, going
through the motions… otherwise I find I get BORED in a bar
quickly. Another good one is SODA AND BITTERS.

So try all of that… believe me, if *I* could do it, so can
you.

As far what you want to accomplish with the warm up, it’s
nothing really. When you are doing the warm ups, all you want
to do is get the initial approaches out of the way so you’re
in a social state. Otherwise, it’s easy to get locked into
a headspace where you procrastinate and end up sitting alone
for the rest of the evening.

Any group will do, it doesn’t matter. What’s important is your
mentality. On a warmup, all you want to do is let go of ALL
concerns about the outcome. “It’s just a warmup.”

Once you do a couple of these, you’ll hit stride and you’ll
be in the zone, as they say.

Take what I’ve said here to heart, man. Drop the juice and
get in the zone.

That’s about all for today. But before I go, lemme say a couple
quick words about our new FOUNDATIONS SUPERCONFERENCE CDs/DVDs.

For someone who doesn’t necessarily have the time to dedicate
to a full-blown bootcamp, the Foundations might be just
the thing.

It’s TWO FULL DAYS of classroom seminar with Tyler himself.
You’ll have total access to the man widely recognized as, bar
none, the most analytical and intelligent mind in the field of
social dynamics today.

And you can watch it anytime in the comfort of your own home.

Co-founder of RSD, Tyler breaks it all down for you in
easy-to-understand terms, LIVE, and answers all of your
burning questions.

To learn more, check out our site:

http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/foundations.asp

Okay. Writing done for the day. Time to change out of the
Writer Outfit and into something a little less… tropical.

I might even shave (writers don’t, unless they’re going bald,
then they shave their entire head).

See you later.

Sincerely,

Jeffy, Executive Coach
REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS