Bringing Out The Extrovert Within

Before I begin today’s newsletter, I’d just like to state
one thing:

I AM SCENTED OIL.

Now, you probably have no clue what that means, so let me tell
you. It was something that happened on program the other weekend.

During our Bootcamps, we’ll occasionally have the client go
into a place of business and start a conversation with one
of the female patrons under the pretense of asking about
some product.

For example, at the grocery store, I’ll have the guy ask,
“What’s the best cat food?” or something equally inane. It’s
just a conversation starter, and from there it’s on him to
move the interaction forward.

So this time, I had a group of guys going into a bodyworks
store. “Okay,” I said, pointing at one guy, “you’re going to
ask about moisturizer. YOU are gonna be exfoliant, and YOU are
scented oil.”

The third guy piped up, “Uh… I’m scented oil?”

“Yeah,” I confirmed, “scented oil.”

So they go in and do the approaches. Pretty soon, the third guy
comes out with a weird look on his face.

“They asked me to leave,” he said.

I’m puzzled. “Why? What did you do?”

“Just what you told me,” he replied. “I went up to girls and
said, ‘I am scented oil.’”

Ha! He misinterpreted my instructions, and actually went up,
spread his arms out as if presenting himself and announced that
HE was scented oil!

I told him what I really meant, and everyone got quite a laugh
out of it.

See, that’s the thing about this game: success requires that
you don’t take it seriously. “Failure” is inevitable. It’s
finding the humor and the joy in the game itself that will
get you where you want to go.

Anyways, I still smile when I think about that, and in fact
I actually use it as a conversation starter when I’m in the
club… and I make it work. It’s so patently absurd that the
women start laughing and BOOM, I’m in.

Just thought I’d share that. So, let’s get down to bizness and
take some reader mail:

*** QUESTION ***

Hi Jeffy,

Love the newsletter, I’ve been reading it for a while and am
slowly but surely getting my head around this stuff, I’ve
got a couple of questions about how to game mutual friends.

There have been a number of situations where I have been
introduced to a girl through someone that I know and because
they have some kind of reference point they go straight into
question asking and rapport type stuff.

Does this mean I can just skip the “opener” and “hook” or do
I have to pull her back, open, hook and then go into rapport
on my own terms (ie controlling the frame)?

Also, there have been a couple of times where I have been in
the same place as mutual friends (like at parties etc.) but
haven’t been introduced or approached them.

Does this mean the next time I see them I still have a clean
slate or would I have damaged my position (potentially through
non-alpha disposition and body language) because of it?

I was also interested to know, what advice you had for guys
who are just out and out introverts and therefore aren’t used
to or don’t like high key social situations so much.

Should they be trying to look for women in different places
using their own (different) style or should they just
desensitise themeselves to those high key situations/places
therefore developing their extroverted side?

cheers,

Chris
Melbourne, Australia

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

This reminds me of a student I had back in Sydney, actually.

It was the last day of program, and we were doing some
seminar. I told a story of how I hooked up with a girl in 30
minutes once, and how they should always be ready to move
things forward at the earliest opportunity.

One of the students said, “But the conventional wisdom says
that it takes seven hours.”

I was like, “Yeah, but if she’s ready to go, she’s ready to
go. Strike while the iron is hot.”

The student was confused. “But isn’t that not solid game? The
conventional wisdom says seven hours is solid game.”

This guy couldn’t get past this. I kept trying to tell him that
yes, that’s the RULE, but there are EXCEPTIONS. He couldn’t
understand, and kept talking about the conventional wisdom.

Finally, exasperated, I yelled, “*SCREW* THE CONVENTIONAL
WISDOM!!! ARRGH!” and stormed out, leaving Ozzie to handle
it while I regained my composure.

I get sort of passionate sometimes.

Anyways, that’s what I see going on here. You’re clinging a
little too much to the structure and the “rules” so to
speak.

If you’ve already been introduced, why in the world would you
need to go back and use some contrived bit to start the
conversation? It’s already started!

Granted, you may need to do some work to actually get her
ATTRACTED to you, as opposed to just interested in you in
a “friend” context, but there’s no need to actually “hook” her
per se… she’s already accepted you by virute of the social
proof factor.

And as far as seing mutual friends and not approaching them,
yes, you should have a clean slate. You’re thinking “inside
the box,” so to speak.

Bruce Lee once said, “Be like water,” and that statement
applies here. Think about it: water has no shape, no form
without a container, but when it is FOCUSED, it can erode
mountains and blast through solid rock.

Confining yourself to a strict framework limits your natural
abilities. The rules exist so you know when to break them.

Now, as far as avoiding clubs and loud environments because
you’re an introvert, that’s not the way to go.

Live on your edge. If you stay in your comfort zone there can
be no growth. If there’s no growth, you are DYING.

Push yourself, and you will get better and more comfortable in
these environments. I know, because I went through the process
myself.

Anyway, chew on that for a while, and get yourself to the club!

Next caller.

*** SUCCESS STORY ***

Hey Jeffy,

Hello from Sydney! Did bootcamp with the Maestro Mike earlier
this year, and for any unbelievers out there, you’d better
believe this will change your outlook not just on meeting
people but life in general!

My game’s not quite up to scratch yet, but phone numbers,
makeout, and a near same night pull’s not a bad start 1 week
after bootcamp (got that last one home on the second meet).

So here’s my question…

I’m in a situation where I’ve known girls for some time (ie:
since before bootcamp) as ‘friends’ who I’d rather have as
‘girlfriends’.

Any particular advice on tactics on how to turn this around
or should I just run a normal game?

Cheers,

John, Sydney

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

Yeah, Mike’s quite a character isn’t he? I’ll bet he rocked
your whole worldview.

Now, let’s address this question about gaming “friends.”

First of all, let me just say that you’re already starting the
race ten feet before the starting line with these women.

They already know you, fairly well I’m assuming, and as such
have already formed some entrenched opinions about you.

Like I’ve said before, it’s much harder to recover from a series
of bad moves to come back and win a chess match than it is to
just reset the board and start over.

That said, nothing’s impossible I guess.

How would I approach this one? I’m thinking I would take a
“balls to the wall” approach and just go for it.

Start doing things to ramp up sexual tension when you’re around
them, but in a fun way so you don’t come across as creepy or
weird.

How to go about this? Well, for starters, you could experiment
with sexual misinterpretation. Whenever they say ANYTHING
that you can misinterpret as meaning they want you, reframe it
as such and bust them on it.

For example, say she compliments you on ANY little thing, you
say, in a light and upbeat tone, “Cool, so my place or yours…
dork!” and then lightly hit her on the arm.

What you’re doing here is building sexual tension by implying
she wants to get with you, and then teasing her about it by
calling her a “dork.”

These teases are great for building tension. And remember… any
tension between a guy and a girl is, by it’s very nature,
sexual.

So call her “dork,” “nerd,” “brat,” anything that you’d use to
insult someone in third grade. These are AWESOME.

At the same time, be sure to escalate physical contact with her.
At ALL TIMES, you should be slowly but surely escalating physical
contact… that means handshakes, hi-fives, holding hands, fun
stuff like tickling and piggyback rides. Don’t be afraid to get
into her personal space.

Also, deep and penetrating eye contact is crucial. Make a
connection with the girl that nobody else has with her. Talk
about themes of attraction and intimacy.

I could go on and on, but those are just a couple of things to
get you started. With BALLS and a little luck, there’s a good
chance you can convert these girls into something more.

The most important change you’re going to have to make, though,
is in your own HEAD.

Things seem difficult only because you THINK they are.

At our live programs, we tear down your current
disempowering paradigms and give you a new set that will
catapult you to the next level.

Those little tips I gave you above, as powerful as they are, are
just the tip of the iceberg, like LITERALLY 1% of the wealth of
HARDCORE tactics and techniques you get at our in-field
Bootcamps.

Not only that, but you’ll get a whole new perspective on the
male/female dynamic, WHY conventional models of thinking are
so off-base, and how to approach things in a way that will
liberate you in ways you never imagined.

It’s like being Neo in the film “The Matrix” and taking the red
pill. Once you know the truth, your life will never be the same.

Without this information, you’re just another chode sitting on
“death row” at the club, watching the girls go by.

With it, you’re the mack daddy sauntering through the club with
a hot girl on each arm, and the envy of every guy in the joint.

Our bulletproof system is the final product of years of
fine-tuning, polishing, and perfecting. It’ll increase your
success beyond what you thought imaginable. And it’ll empower
you to approach anyone, anywhere, and break the tension and
build rapport, while sounding like an old pro.

Knowing what to do and when to do it can shave YEARS off of your
learning curve. That’s YEARS of crash & burns you won’t have to
endure, YEARS of going home alone you won’t have to suffer
through.

Why go through all that when you can have the life you want NOW?

If you’re thinking that this is something you want to take care
of TODAY, and not MONTHS or YEARS from now, then check out our
schedule and sign up for your live program right now by
visiting our website:

http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/n/bootcamps.asp

Rock and roll… let’s move along to our next letter.

*** QUESTION ***

Couple questions that have come from my experience in the
field. The first, when a woman asks my name and I respond
“Money,” they always laugh and want to know my REAL name.

I usually say something to the effect of “don’t worry about
it” but then they either keep pushing or get agitated.

I feel like I sometimes come off as a jerk and wonder if I
should just give them my real name and make them feel special
or if I should keep nagging.

The second question is simple. I don’t have a ton of money
and would love to go out each night, but I don’t just want to
go to bars, dance clubs, and coffeeshops and not buy stuff.

I just feel like that makes me look like I’m lame.

Is that how all of the rest of the best do it?

Thanks for the great advice!

money

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

Okay. Interesting letter.

First off, I’d like you to take a moment and examine WHY
you persist with the arrogant jerk thing, even when it’s
apparent that it’s not getting you success?

The definition of insanity is repeating unsuccessful behaviors
and expecting to get success.

If it’s not working, CHANGE it! Remember… be like water.

Now, you’re correct in thinking that being a challenge can
build attraction. But at some point, you have to drop the
facade and GET REAL. Otherwise, there’s simply no way she
is gonna take you seriously.

That’s when you’ll start to get comments like this:

“I don’t trust you.”

“I can’t believe anything you say.”

“You say this to all the girls, don’t you?”

Sound familiar? I’ll bet you’ve heard these exact statements
several times.

Follow your intuition. If you sense it’s getting to the
point where the cocky stuff is beginning to wear thin, drop
it and change gears. BE FLUID!

It may seem difficult at first, but over time your calibration
will grow and you’ll just intuitively know when it’s time to
switch it up.

As for the whole “not buying stuff” thing, unless there’s a
drink minimum or something, you shouldn’t sweat it.

Trust me, nobody is noticing this stuff except YOU. People
are too wrapped up in their own little worlds to pay much
attention to anything.

And even if they do, you just frame control it away.

“You’re not drinking?”

“No. My doctor said Mylanta. So, blah blah change subject.”

Any ridiculous non-sequiter will work as long as it’s
delivered with authority, then you just PLOW ahead. Control
the frame.

There are a million ways to do this, and my good friend Tyler
is an expert at teaching them to guys just like you.

He’s the co-founder of Real Social Dynamics, and you can pick
his brain when you get a copy of one of his best seminars in
CD/DVD format in our new home study course, known colloquially
as The Foundations Superconference course.

There’s nothing like this seminar, anywhere. I’m dead sober,
dead sexy, and dead serious. You gotta check this out.

To do just that, and get your copy of Foundations, visit here:

http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/foundations.asp

All right, it’s been a whole hell of a lot of fun,
but I’ve got to be getting on.

Why? Because I AM SCENTED OIL.

Put me in your bubble bath, I’ll take you away.

Sincerely,

Jeffy, Executive Coach
REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS