Dear Speed Seduction Student,
One of the things I emphasize over and over and over again is, capture and lead a woman’s imagination and emotions.
Use your language, energy and vibe to create initial states of comfort and fun, but then, make sure you drive her consciousness
towards more intense and romantic states: fascination, desire, indulgence, etc.
Also, I say again and again, “set a firm lead”.
Women respond well to men who know how to listen AND lead.
If you are only a good listener, you will wind up being her friend.
If you lead, but don’t listen, then you will be guessing at what works and you will also fail to generate in her the deeper levels of comfort and safety that, in turn, allow her to feel the more intense romantic feelings.
Of course, you can learn how to do all of this when you get your Speed Seduction Home Study Course at http://www.seduction.com/products/rj187.asp.
Now, here is an email from a student who is a Home Study Course owner. He, along with about 3,000 other guys participate on our online line email forum, for customers only-24 hours a day, 7 days a week, you can communicate with your fellow students and ask questions, share tips and stories or just get some encouragement when you need it. A pretty good bonus for owning your course.
Anyway, this guy got jerked around by a flirty waitress and wanted some advice. Here’s the exchange I had with him. I’ve interspersed my comments with his so where you see “RJ:”, that’s me answering him.
Hey everyone,
Could you offer your thoughts about this one? Its another flake problem, and perhaps its a maturity thing, but I really value
your thoughts and recommendations.I went to a popular restaurant with some friends last week. We were in a light mood and joked with the waitress about me getting married to her. She bantered back and said I should come back Valentine’s day to seal the deal because she would be working and would have all the matching outfits (restaurant garb) and the witnesses, etc. During the banter, I get a vibe that she is interested in me.
RJ: Ok, light banter is fine to create some initial comfort and all. That’s about all it will do unless she happens to like your look or she is tuned into your sexual vibe.
“So, in the same light hearted spirit, my friend and I decided to return on Valentines Day. Well, he got sick. I went anyway. I walk in, and ask about the wait time, during rush hour. I’m about to leave and up walks the waitress. We chit chat, and she tells the hostess to seat me in her section, and I get seated before everyone else, just a few minutes after walking in.
While ordering and throughout the meal, I make small talk with her on her family, school, days off, etc., and she does the same.
I am again getting a vibe that she is interested, and so I order dessert and tell her to have some. She brings two spoons, sits down and we dig in.Then she goes to wait more tables.
RJ: Where is the pattern language? The questions that open up her mind? Where is the play screening, like the snack quiz or asking her to name 3 things about herself uniquely attractive that have nothing to do with her physical appearance?
Your vibe that she is “interested” was right, but interested in what? I would say she was interested in getting your attention.
When she comes back, I tell her:
“I have an intutition about you.” She says, “Oh really, what is it.” I respond, “That when you see an opportunity in front of you, you don’t hesitate to take advantage of it.” She agrees.
RJ: Look, not bad, but you are pitching her before you’ve done any patterning at all. That almost NEVER works. NEVER. N-E-V-E-R.
So, I continue, “So, I have an opportunity for you.” and I shut up. She sits down across from me, begins to think in her head
(eyes shift down and away), and then she says, three times, one rightafter the other, “Really, Hmmm.” Then I say, “I have tickets to XX, and would make room for you.
RJ:” BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Bad. This is about the event, not about her wanting to be with you because YOU present something
different and special. The tickets are BAIT. If you believed that YOU were the gift to her, would you need to bribe her with tickets? Congrats on AFC behavior!
The event is two days away. I give her my phone number to contact me, and she smiles.
RJ: Weak. You leave it up to her instead of taking the lead. You were so afraid of being confronted with a “no” that you had to:
1. Bribe her with tickets instead of making it about hanging out with YOU
2. Then leave it up to her to decide, rather than take the lead.
Even if she HAD some interest, your lack of leadership and lack of confidence just killed it.
These kind of girls require a STRONG lead with NO bullshit allowed.
She then describes all the ways she can structure time to make it happen, stating she could get off work early or could have someone fillin for her, etc.
RJ: Last chance: you should have jumped on it and said, “Good..let’s meet for a coffee a couple of hours before and then if we see that we really enjoy each other’s company, we can go on to the event.”
I pay and leave. I get no call and the event is coming up, so by the evening of the night before with no call, I call her at restaurant to double check so I dont waste the ticket.
RJ: The ticket is already wasted. On her. Even if she accepted, she’s going out with a ticket and NOT with you.
I call and who answers, her. I say, “Oh, hi, how are you?” She says she is fine. I continue, “Just calling to see about the event.”
She states, “Oh, well I have to go talk to customers, but I’ll be back.”
RJ: Weak, weak, WEEEAK. Pathetically WEAK!
A few minutes later, a male gets on the phone and introduces himself as if answering phone. I state, “Oh, I was waiting for waitress.” He states, “oh you were wanting to know about event X” I state yeah. He states “She’s not interested.” Evidently she had joe blow co-worker get on the phone to let me know during the time she was “waiting on customers”.
The door will never be open again for this immaturity, but my question is what did I do wrong. What should I have done differently?
RJ: You flunked this on some many levels, it’s hard to know where to start.Above all, it seems to me that you let her interest in flirting with you set the tone for the entire transaction. Instead ofusing that flirting to drive to something more usable you left it where she took it. I can’t see ANY Speed Seduction� in this.
Remember: when you capture and lead a woman’s imagination and emotions, you don’t need to offer tickets to shows and you
certainly don’t leave what happens next up to her!
Peace and piece,
RJ
P.S. the March LA Seminar is fast approaching. Join me, Dave Riker, Shirleen Rodgrigues, Vince “Hollywood” Kelvin and our special guests, Kim and Tom from Essential-Skills.com and JUMP START YOUR SEDUCTION SUCCESS like crazy!
Just click here for more 411:
http://seduction.com/losAngelesMarchseminar.asp
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